Light Restored
by Neflanthir
Summary: HaoXYoh fic, you have been warned. Set after the anime & in Yoh's perspective. Depression and angst, oh and character bashing, but you know you love it really. Please R&R. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

My very first Shaman King fic, so try not to judge me too harshly Hope you enjoy! Oh, and obviously I don't own Shaman King or any rights to it.

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Three years, has it really been three years since it happened? It's hard to believe, but then time seemed to lose all meaning and purpose after what happened. Of course, I pretended that everything was normal, but it wasn't. I felt as though my entire world had crumbled around me; all the light I had was gone, all because he had gone, because I had taken his life. Even now it seems like only yesterday, I still remember everything clearly, every detail embedded permanently in my mind. I know it was the only way, the only thing I could have done, you left me no choice, but... Tears are falling again; they always do when I'm alone, when I think about it. It's the only time I can try to deal with what happened and I have very little time alone, they just can't leave me alone. I always wanted friends, to have people around me who cared for me, but now they're driving me crazy, I feel suffocated by them. He's driving me crazy too though, I can't stop thinking about him; I don't even understand half of it, which just makes things worse. I don't know what I'm feeling; I just know that missing him is tearing me apart. There won't be anything recognisable as me soon, if there still is, I'm so caught up in this façade that I don't know what is real anymore.

"Yoh-kun?" Faust enquires softly.

Thankfully my senses are good enough to give me plenty of warning if anyone's coming, I can't afford to let them see me crying, they won't understand. How could anyone understand if I can't?

"Hai?" I ask cheerfully, even if I don't feel it.

"Are you coming in for lunch? Anna-san is on a warpath again though."

"Iie arigato, I don't want to miss this."

"Miss what Yoh-kun?"

I turn to look at him, smiling softly. "There's going to be an eclipse, I'm not exactly sure when though."

"How do you know that?"

I shake my head, turning away. "Someone told me, I forget who. Guess I wasn't really listening all that well again, ne?"

It isn't true; I know it's coming because I can feel it. My shaman abilities have improved a lot in the past few years, but I haven't shown that. I don't want them to know that I'm learning his power; I don't want to make them worry. I should probably be more worried about how often I'm lying and how easy it is; lying doesn't help anything, it's just the easy way out. I hear Faust leave but ignore it, keeping my attention on the sky, as well as my internal monologue. It's strange feeling all these changes in nature, though I have to admit it's been very useful in avoiding the less pleasant weather conditions, of course, I could just stop them from bothering me, but I don't think it would be a very good idea to do that kind of thing in public view. The feeling is stronger now, so the eclipse must be coming soon, I wonder if it will be visible or not, most of them aren't; still, sitting here waiting has given me some space, so it doesn't matter whether I can see it or not.

Oh, wow, that is beautiful, it's certainly not a normal eclipse by any means, the sky is almost purple. The mixture of tones is beautiful, though somewhat unnerving, because it certainly isn't natural. The feeling it gives me is strange, it isn't something I understand, I don't know whether I'm nervous or exited, it's a confusing sensation.  
  
"What is that?" The voice is faint, travelling up from the house; I think it was Ryu. More murmuring followed from Manta, probably trying to explain the strange phenomenon. I should probably head back to them now, I have been up here a long time and I know Anna will be getting annoyed, not that she worries me anymore, I just can't be bothered with the hassle. Wait, this feeling, what is it? It's almost, familiar, yet I don't have any idea what it is. One part of me feels almost glad by this feeling, while another is terrified, I don't understand what this is. Dwelling on it isn't helping; it'll just drive me mad, not literally, but, well, yeah... I really need to stop thinking so much...

"Yoh-kun! Did you see that?" Manta asked excitedly.

"Aa." I reply, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"Something wrong Yoh?" Horo-Horo questioned.

I guess I didn't sound particularly interested. I can't concentrate with this nagging feeling though. Opps, I haven't responded, better just shake my head.

"You can feel it too then?" Ren asks, though it's more rhetorical than an actual question.

"Aa. I can't figure it out though." I reply, though I don't even bother to look at him.

Everything is quite, I glance around and see a mixture of confusion and concern, presumably because I'm not being the bright, bubbly person they're used to. I can't say I really care right now though, I guess they'd have found out at some point anyway. I can't help but sigh though, this is going to bring trouble for me, but I don't think I can brush it aside like I normally do, if anyone starts pushing me, I'm pretty sure I'll push back. Either way, I can't tell them anything, even if I did, they wouldn't want to hear it, I know they won't understand. They all hate you so very much, niisan, yet for some reason, all I want is to be with you, isn't that strange? Maybe it's because I felt whole for the first time when you took my soul into you, maybe it's that feeling I miss? I still believe that you were a good person; I still believe that only good people can see spirits.

"Yoh?" The surprisingly soft voice is Anna's, worry lacing her words.

"I'm okay Anna, I've just got a lot to think about." I reply sincerely.

She nods, but I can see the doubt and worry, I would have expected more from her though, being empathic she should have known for a long time and it isn't like Anna to say nothing, things like that annoy her. I smile reassuringly, but I know she won't buy it, I'm not putting enough effort into it, my mind is still elsewhere. I think most of them see me as an airhead half the time, but I do encourage that belief, even if it isn't true, I prefer people to think less of me, that way they never expect too much. I expect the prospect of me thinking is quite unbelievable. They don't think I can meditate either, they think I just sleep, but that isn't true either, really, they don't know much about me at all.

"Say, Anna?" Since she's empathic, maybe... "Do you know what it is Ren and I felt during the eclipse?"

Great, a shake of the head, I half wonder if she felt anything at all. To be honest, I'm surprised Ren did, he isn't anywhere near my level anymore. I won't tell him that though, or show him if I can help it, I don't want to insult his pride, he'll only get angry. Speaking of the Tao, he's still staring at me intently. He has been since I answered Horo-Horo and it's rather annoying and unnerving. I'm beginning to wonder if I've grown another head with everyone looking at me the way they are.

"Yoh-dono..." Amidamaru started.

I look round, genuinely concerned, he sounds slightly upset. "What's wrong?"

"Are you really okay, Yoh-dono? You seem different today."

He sounds almost afraid to have said that; maybe he's afraid of upsetting me?

"I'm fine, really. As I said, I've just got too much to think about today. Don't worry." That sounded genuine, thankfully. It's enough to quell most of their worry, though both Anna and Ren still remain somewhat sceptical.

I stretch and place a lazy grin on my face, relaxing most of them further. "I'm bored of thinking so much, it's too much hard work."

Horo-Horo, Manta and Ryu laugh at my statement, Lyserg smiles, Ren snorts at it and Faust and Anna remain impassive, not that it's unusual for either of them. Amidamaru on the other hand, decides to glomp me, so I just laugh, knowing that's what they expect. I have to carry on acting, I let myself slip too far and it hurt them, I have to keep this up for them.

"Oh, I was supposed to get that, wasn't I?" I know Anna will understand, so I don't bother to elaborate.

"Yes, so do it." She snaps, as I had expected. I take my leave quickly, heading to the field nearby to pick up whatever strange item it was she was talking about earlier.

Ten minutes and I still can't find it, maybe I'll sit down for a while instead; it isn't as if I want to hurry back anyway. That feeling just came back, the familiar one; my first thought this time was that it was him, but... A pair of arms have just wrapped around my shoulders, I didn't even feel anyone around, unless...

"We need to talk Yoh." The voice was low, quiet and pained, but undoubtedly his, Hao isn't gone after all; I don't have to feel guilty.

"Okay Hao. I'm glad you're alive." I almost laugh at his surprise; I guess he thought I hated him.

"I just...I want to thank you, ototo. You made me realise a few things I needed to see. I also wanted to let you know that I'll stop killing them, so you don't have to hurt anymore."

"Thank you Hao, it means a lot."

"Aren't you angry that I'm here?"

"No, actually I've been quite lost without you, I don't know why, but I missed you."

"That is because you are mine." I can hear the smirk, even though it isn't harsh now.

I smile softly, even if he can't see it, he'll know, he always does. "Maybe."

"Yoh?" He hadn't expected that.

"You know, I felt like I belonged somewhere, like I was whole. It was the first time, the only time. If he hadn't called me, I would have stayed."

"You were angry then, but then, I was completely crazy, so I guess neither of us was really being ourselves."

"You haven't been yourself for a long time though, have you?" A little bold, hopefully he'll answer and won't get angry.

I hear him sigh tiredly before answering. "No, I lost myself a long time ago, their hatred, fear, anger and jealousy pushed me too far."

I want to turn to face him, but it isn't easy with his arms around me. He's crying, Hao is actually crying, I don't believe it. My hand seemed to move by itself to wipe the tears away, I certainly didn't realise I was doing it until it was too late. He's staring at me intently now, I don't know what I'm feeling, or even what I'm doing, my body seems to be working separately from my mind. Oh no, not good...what possessed me to do that? I can't have done that...why did I? I kissed him, my own brother, I don't know why; it's stupid and wrong, why did I do that?

"Is that how you feel Yoh?" He doesn't seem angry, but...

"I-I don't, I mean...sorry! I don't know why I...please don't be mad."

His smile is warm, soft, so unlike what I saw back then. "I'm not angry Yoh, if it's what you want, you shouldn't be afraid. You are mine Yoh."

This time he kissed me and I can't help but respond; this feeling is incredible. This is the feeling that confused me so much, the longing I couldn't understand, it's love. I shouldn't feel this way though should I? It's wrong, well, it's not legal by any means, so why? I don't think I care, I could drown in this sensation; it makes me feel whole again, I don't want to lose this feeling again. I'm laid back on the grass, but had Hao not pinned my arms down I wouldn't have realised; the rest of the world doesn't seem to be anywhere near us right now, the only thing that exists is us. I don't want this to end.

"Yoh! Kisama! Let go of him!" The voice is Ren's, I don't think he realises what is going on, or that it's Hao I'm with.

Much to my disappointment, Hao let's go and stands up, why'd Ren have to come? I haven't been gone that long have I? Maybe he just wanted to talk to me about the way I've been acting today. Still, I would've liked to have left a while longer...

"Why don't you stay out of other people's business Tao?" Hao asked, deadpan.

Ren looks about ready to fall over from shock, I guess he really didn't realise who it was. Hao hold's out his hand to help me up, much to Ren's astonishment; he really doesn't understand what was going on, even though it should have been more than obvious.

"Don't worry Ren, it isn't what you think." I don't know why I said that, I don't think Ren knows what to think, never mind though.

Oh-oh, Anna's here... "Hao." I don't think I've ever heard a word said so simply but with so much malice.

"Hm, the itako, I can't say I'm surprised. Still treating my brother like I slave?" Hao's voice is jovial, which annoys her no end.

"What I do with my fiancé is none of your business." She spits back. Funny, I used to be afraid, but now I just find it sort of sad.

"Hao-sama." This voice belongs to Kanna, it seems Hanagumi are still with him and have come to take him, but I don't want him to leave me...

"It seems it's time to leave, a pity I can't play." Hao sounds as crazy and sadistic as ever, but having pretended for so long, I can tell he's doing the same thing now.

I try not to look disappointed, or to do anything stupid, but I really don't want him to leave me, so it isn't easy. I still can't believe that I'm in love with him, but I know it's true; this feeling couldn't be anything else. Why did they have to come? Why couldn't we stay together a little longer? Hao, please don't leave me, I don't think I can keep pretending anymore, tasukete...

"You can only have one, ototo." His breath is warm on my ear, his voice low enough so only I can hear.

"I want you." I reply solemnly, my voice barely audible even to myself, but I know he got my answer.

"Are you sure Yoh?" He's serious this time, worried that I'll regret it.

"I can't keep living like this Hao, I'm tearing myself apart." I decided to skip the part about being madly in love with him and unable to live without him, but I think he already figured that out anyway. He nodded, but whether it was to my reply or my thoughts I can't be sure, that's the problem with empaths...

"Then I'll take you, but we have to leave now."

I nod, quickly turning to the amassing group. "I know this will seem strange, but I need to leave with Hao. I can't explain right now and I'm not going to argue about it. I have some things that need to be done, things I can't ignore anymore."

Before anyone has a chance to protest, I turn back to Hao, who ushers me towards Hanagumi and the awaiting Spirit of Fire. Before I know it, the field and my friends are gone, this is the start of something new, a life that I hope will make me happy, one that won't destroy who I am. I do feel kind of bad just leaving them, I know they'll worry, especially when I don't go back, but I have to stop living for everyone else and start living for me. I feel Hao wrap his arms around me again, feel his questioning gaze, he's still worried that I made the choice hastily.

"I need to do this for myself, and I won't regret it, you mean more to me than they ever could, we're the same, but different, we need each other, ne?"

He smiles at that, I can feel the change. "Yes, we need each other. I'm glad this happened Yoh, I'm glad that I can help you to shine again."

Shine? What does that mean? I don't have a chance to ask, as he turned me to face him, once again pulling me into a kiss, not that I mind of course. I definitely think this was the right choice for me, I belong with him and it makes me feel happy and whole.

"Hao-sama, sorry to interrupt. We are going to find the others, is that okay?" Kanna's voice again, I wonder why Mari and Macchi haven't said anything yet? Maybe they don't have anything nice to say but don't want to make Hao angry.

"That's fine, so long as they understand Yoh is mine and no one is harming him." Hao's reply is as much a warning for the girls as everyone else, or perhaps threat is more appropriate.

"Mari will make sure for Hao-sama. Is Yoh-sama part of us now?" Part of them? I honestly hadn't thought about that Mari, I don't know.

"You need to have an answer soon Yoh-sama, the tournament will be restarting soon." Macchi's words are surprisingly soft, maybe I was wrong.

"Aa. We'll have to wait for Hao to explain some more things to me." I make sure to keep my tone light, while showing that I'm serious about it, I don't want them to think that I'm playing Hao, or that I'm rushing in head-first without thinking about it. It's sufficient, the three nod before leaving Hao and I alone.

"This is a little rushed isn't it?" Hao whispers softly.

I can't help but smile. "A little, but it wasn't as though I had much of a choice. I don't want to lose you again, it hurts too much."

"I know. I think I should explain what I'm planning, Macchi is right, there isn't a lot of time."

I only nod, not really sure what I can say. He promised me he'd stop killing, so it should be okay what ever it is, right? Either way, all I can do is listen to his words and decide what to do after. I'm not giving up on us no matter what he says though; I really think we can finally be happy. This is a new start and I intend to make it a good one, I do believe in destiny, this is all too perfect now to be anything else, we both have the chance for our light to be restored.

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Now it's up to you reviewers, I may leave this as a one-shot, or I may continue, it depends entirely on your reviews, let me know what you think! Ja! 


	2. Chapter 2

Konnichi wa!

Arigato Wolf demon, Kyoko Asakura, glad you liked it, I love the pairing too, not enough of them for my liking though.

And arigato to the priestess carly-chan, hopefully this chapter won't be quite so depressing for you, we'll have to wait and see.

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Three months seem to have flown by, and it wasn't as much work for Hao as he had thought. It was funny to have surprised Hao with how much I've improved, but somehow, I doubted it was as much of a shock as he made out. Hao and I have really bonded in these three months, despite all the training, though I'm still nowhere near as good as he is. Hao seems happy though, so I guess I must be a fair amount stronger than I was before, stronger than the others. It's almost time to go to the tournament now, another week or so; the teams are already being decided, even though we won't need them for a while yet. Hao's a bit of a control freak, he likes everything to be prepared for, I guess it means he doesn't have to worry though. Strange to think that we've been lovers for three months, sometimes it doesn't seem that long, others it seems like eternity; all I know is that it's pure, no matter what the human laws say. Heh, that sounded way too much like Hao, I didn't mean it that way though. Wait, why am I explaining to myself? I really do think too much...

"We're heading out tomorrow Yoh-sama. Hao-sama asked Mari to tell you to get some rest." No matter how many times it's explained, I still don't understand why Mari talks in third-person, or Opacho for that matter.

"Where is Hao?" He normally tells me himself...

"Hao-sama is busy. Just do as Hao-sama says Yoh-sama."

I can't help but smile, Mari has brightened up since I've been around, but she's still set to certain habits. "Sure thing Mari. O-yasumi!"

"O-yasumi nasai Yoh-sama."

I wonder if the others will be at the tournament? I expect they will be, if not for becoming Shaman King, just because Hao will be there. They really don't understand niisan and don't care to, they don't understand me either and I doubt they ever will. I wonder how they will act with me when we meet? I can't see them being too happy that I'm helping Hao, thought they should know I wouldn't be doing it if it were dangerous to anyone. Though saying that, they can always just say he's controlling me, that wouldn't surprise me in the least. Still, no matter what I'm going to stand by him, I believe in him and his dream as much as all of his other followers, he's too charismatic for his own good...or my good for that matter. I wonder if they'll hate me too? I shouldn't worry about it either way, I gave up that life for this one and I don't regret doing it, Hao means everything to me.

"Yoh-sama?" Kanna's voice is barely above a whisper, I wonder why?

"Nan desu ka Kanna?"

"Hao-sama is worried, is it okay that you'll be against them?"

Oh, is that it? I can't help but smile, they're all so very kind, not that I would've believed that before of course. "It's fine Kanna, this is my choice, ne? If they want to hate me too that's their choice, I'm here to stay because I want to be."

Kanna is actually smiling properly; it's rare for her to show a smile, even a fake one, so I'm quite flattered by her reaction. "Arigato Yoh-sama. Hao-sama can be happy again."

All I can do is nod and smile, allowing her to excuse herself before settling down in bed. It seems strange not to have Hao here; I think this is the first time since we've been together that I've gone to bed without him. Maybe he's accepted my place here now, as well as everyone else, I know he was worried for a while; he didn't trust the others not to harm me. I've never had any trouble from them though, everything has gone very well for me, and I've even stopped being so lazy, as hard as that is to believe. To be honest, until today, I haven't even given them a thought, I've been enjoying myself so much, I didn't know it was possible to be so very happy. I wonder how my family will take it? They won't be happy that I'm with Hao, even less so if they find out we're lovers, they hate niisan so very much; they don't seem to care how much he's been hurting. I wonder why things turned out this way? How one's only family can forget all the good you've done the minute something bad happens. Yet, Anna did some awful things too, granted not on Hao's scale, but she doesn't have the power to do that. Still, they ignore her wrongdoings and promise me to her, while despising their own family member, it's hypocritical to say the least. Oh never mind all this, I'm supposed to be sleeping, not thinking, so o-yasumi head, you can turn off now.

We just arrived at Pach village; Hao decided he was going to hide me out of plain sight, despite my protests. I can feel the glares of everyone, the surprise of seeing him at the tournament. I guess most ignored the rumours, since no one had been killed; yet still they hate him blindly, and it hurts. Maybe that's why he had me in the middle, so I couldn't see, he knows it upsets me; of course, it could be so I don't get any attention myself. Either way, I know he's looking out for me, but I'd still rather be with him, though I am with Hanagumi, who are definitely my second choice, so it isn't so bad. Someone is going to attack Hao, someone I know; I know he won't appreciate it, but I'm going to step in, maybe they'll stop if I can reassure them it's okay? Probably wishful thinking, but I have to try anyway. I easily block Ren's attack, not surprised that Hao left it in my hands, being empathic means he knows far too much...

"Yoh?" Ren actually sounds surprised, maybe they thought I was dead?

"Ya." I reply calmly, not moving from my defensive position.

"Yoh-kun! What are you doing? Are you okay?" Lyserg asks, I think he's more annoyed with me than worried however. Even now he can't see past his hatred.

"I'm stopping Ren from making a mistake. I mean this in the nicest way possible; stay away from Hao or I'll make you regret it." Hao almost chokes at my words, he hadn't expected that anymore than anyone else. It really is nice to actually surprise him from time to time.

"What do you mean Yoh?" Ren asks, almost sounding hurt, though trying hard not to.

"We're not doing anyone any harm, so leave us be. This is a tournament, not a death match." I was going to finish, but they're going to try to argue. "Stop. Whatever it is, don't bother saying it. What's done is done. All you're doing is acting the same way."

It was the same with the X-Laws, you become what you hate, blindly pursuing it without realising you're just as guilty as the one who caused the pain in the first place. Hate only breeds more hate.

"Yoh, have you forgotten what he did to you?" Hm, Ren sounds angry now.

"No, I just took the time to understand. Hao isn't the same as he was then, he saw through he blind hatred. Something everyone else seems incapable of doing." I think I sound a little bitter, but I don't want Hao being treated like this.

"Yoh." Hao's voice is soft, barely audible. "Don't upset yourself over this, it doesn't matter."

"It does matter! Everyone's negative emotions are what caused the problem in the first place! I know I don't understand, because I'm not empathic like you, but I know their emotions are horrible to feel all the time." I didn't mean to yell at him, the same as I didn't mean to start crying, but I can help it, I feel so worthless.

Much to everyone's surprise, Hao lightly pulled me into an embrace, stroking my hair softly. "It doesn't matter Yoh, it isn't worth getting upset about."

"Niisan, it does matter." I only mutter the response, concentrating on trying not to cry, I don't want to upset him too.

"What is this?" "Has the monster really got a heart?" I try to ignore the muted words of disbelief, trying to will away all these feelings, for Hao as much as myself. How can they be so openly cruel? I can understand why he'd come to hate them so much, but still, what he did was wrong, I know that. Two wrongs don't make a right.

"Just ignore them, I don't care what they say, we'll be free of this soon." Hao's voice was very low by my ear, making sure only I could hear his words. "What matters to me now is you."

I smile slightly, Hao always knows what to say to make me smile, that's why he makes me so happy. I really am lucky to have someone who cares for me so much. "You're right niisan. I'm sorry, I won't get upset again."

"Just promise you won't start trying to lie to me ototo, I'd rather know the truth and deal with it as best I can."

"Hai. I promise niisan."

Hao smiles softly, though so only I can see. Then he looks back to the others, his usual, somewhat smug expression in place. Ignoring everyone else, he just continues walking as if nothing happened. Of course, I know better than to believe that, but like I did, Hao has the need to appear strong for his group, and it makes everyone else think twice about attacking us.

"If they took this as badly as they did, how do you think they'll cope with the rest?" I ask quietly, keeping my voice low. I know the matter will cheer Hao up a little.

"They'd probably have a heart attack ototo, so you'd better be careful, ne?" Hao replies lightly, I can hear the smirk in his tone, though I can't see his face.

"That would make the competition even easier."

Hao laughs at that, turning to face me, a little surprised. "Yes, I suppose it would. But it would take the point out of you learning so much."

"There is that I guess..."

He smiles again, shaking his head with mirth and disbelief. "Only my other half can surprise me so much, yet I should know you better than anyone else."

"Hai, demo...I don't think you try to, it would be boring if you did know everything about me, there wouldn't be any point in me being around."

"Except that I love you, but you're right, it would make things a little less interesting."

If we weren't in public view I'd probably melt, he is so sweet and that smile is enough to move anyone, he's so gorgeous. Wait; since we're twins does it make me vain to find him attractive? It isn't as if we're completely the same though, right? Oh, never mind, it doesn't matter how it could be viewed. Yoh, listen to your mind and stop over-thinking everything, before you either make yourself paranoid, or just make your head explode... Okay, so maybe that's a little exaggerated...

Oh, Hao's stopped, are we staying here? It's peaceful enough, but I think I prefer where we were before, even if it was a little on the posh side. Still, camping out here is okay, although I think Hao and I had better behave. Hm, I've really changed, I would never have thought something like that before; though living with Anna, I guess it isn't really surprising, she's far too afraid of doing or thinking anything like that. It isn't my place to judge others though, and really, I'm glad she didn't want to get intimate, it would've made things much more difficult. Even when I thought I did love her, I still think it would have caused problems, because I would have realised too late that those feelings weren't real.

"What are you thinking about?" Hao's soft voice snapped me out of my thoughts, which I'm not complaining about.

"Shouldn't you know?" I have to make quips; it's more fun that way.

"No. I could know if I chose to, but I don't want to read your thoughts, I'd rather you just tell me yourself."

He's always so serious... "It's nothing important, I guess I just got used to talking to myself, as much as it drives me mad sometimes..."

"Funny, I thought it was supposed to be the sign of madness, not driving you to it."

Did Hao just make a joke? Maybe it was just a smart retort, Hao doesn't do humour, right? Why is he laughing at me?

"Because you're cute when you get confused, and yes, I did say 'cute', you aren't imagining that either."

Okay, maybe Hao does joke around sometimes, just in his own sarcastic way. I guess I don't really know him all that well...I guess I look as upset as I feel if he's hugging me again. Why am I so useless? All I do is get upset for no good reason and hurt him in the process. I'm so stupid and weak!

"Enough ototo. Just relax and stop doing this to yourself. We're not meant to know everything about each other right? And people change all the time, I'm just trying to make you happy, not hurt you even more."

"Hao..." He's right, it isn't the same anymore, I don't have to hurt. "Gomen nasai niisan. I don't mean to get lost so much, I'll try harder for us both."

Hao just nods, stroking my hair comfortingly again. I really am stupid, I never used to be this weak, but then, I never had any need to get so lost until the last Shaman Fight. It shouldn't be hard to get stronger again, I just have to throw all of that away, and I know I can. I know I can't always be happy, because I wouldn't know what it was, but that doesn't mean I have to be so depressed all the time either. Come what may, it'll all turn out okay, I'll make sure of it.

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Not as long as the other one and a bit weird, but never mind.

Once again, please R&R and let me know if you want me to continue.

Not sure when I'll update if I do continue it, but it won't be as quickly as this chapter.

Anyway, hope everyone enjoyed it. Ja ne!


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews!

Fisou and Skaddicted, I'm writing this at work so I can only do so much, but I'll try not to keep you waiting too long.

The priestess carly-chan, glad you're enjoying it still, hope this one doesn't disappoint.

Wingweaver22, not quite sure what deserved that response, but I appreciate the review.

AleGnA, nice to know Yoh and I aren't the only crazy ones who argue with ourselves.

Time to start writing the next part I guess. Hope you all enjoy!

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A new day and our first Shaman Fight, well, Hanagumi's first fight anyway. I don't even know who I'm supposed to be with, Hao decided that it would be more fun not to tell me. He's lucky I love him so much, or his teasing would be very annoying. I wonder if Hanagumi will want we there or if I can stay in bed? I don't even know what time it is now, or if Hao came to bed at all last night. I don't think I've done anything wrong, so if he didn't come it must be either because he was busy or because he didn't want to wake me, yesterday was very tiring for both of us.

"Yoh-sama. We're leaving soon, Hao-sama said that you should stay here and rest. Some of the others are here if something should happen."

If something should happen? What does Kanna mean by that? Maybe it's just if Ren or the others come? Yeah, that's probably it.

"Is everything okay Kanna?" Hao hasn't spoken to me for a while now, and it isn't like him, he's normally always with me.

"Everything is fine Yoh-sama. Hao-sama is busy, but is trying to care for you through us, since they require his presence, not ours."

I just nod, letting her leave before I lay down again. Guess I should have expected things to be different at the tournament, but to be honest I never gave it a thought. They all rely on Hao, so it should be obvious that he'll need to spend a lot of time with them like he did in the previous tournament. Still, it would have been nice if he'd at least popped his head in on the way out just to see how am I. Doesn't he realise I worry? Oh, I shouldn't be so selfish, this isn't about me; it's about a new world for all of us, a paradise for Shamans.

"Koi?" Oh, when did Hao come in?

"Aa?" I can't believe I didn't notice...

"O-genki desu ka?"

"Genki desu."

"I'm sorry if you're feeling neglected Yoh, everyone is on edge and I have to sort everything out. It'll settle down a little soon. I promise we'll spend some time together later, okay? Just get some rest for now, I know you're still tired from yesterday."

He's so sweet. "Hai. I'd like that. Sorry to be such a problem Hao."

"You're not." A quick kiss and he's gone, but at least he made the effort for me.

I don't think I'll be able to get back to sleep now though, but I can't sit around doing nothing either. I don't have my music and I can't really go into town after what happened yesterday. I could always go to watch the match, but for whatever reason, Hao doesn't want me there, so I shouldn't go. I don't want to sit here bored either though... Oh, this isn't fair; I don't even have Amidamaru, or any other spirits to keep me company. I could try talking to the others, but I don't think they're interested, and we have little or nothing in common. What's that feeling? Even with all Hao's help, these feelings still confuse me, I think this one is something to do with a person, but I don't even know that for sure. Oh wait, I've got it, it's Ren. Question is, do I go and talk to him, or do I stay in here? Hao would prefer me to stay put, but I think Ren is hurt that I left, so I feel that I owe him an explanation, even if he can't understand it.

"I'm half surprised you came." Ren was expecting me? Maybe he knows I've improved, or it could be because of last time, when I stopped him from attacking Hao.

"I had to think about it, but in the end, I figure I at least owe you an explanation."

"You're in love with him, aren't you?"

Okay, I wasn't expecting that... "Why do you ask that?"

"There's no other reason you'd protect him so fiercely, plus, the way the two of you treat each other... Is that why you left us?"

"I'd been in a bad way for a long time, I needed to get out, but yes, I went because I love him, I was afraid of losing him again."

"Why didn't you say anything Yoh? I could've..."

"You wouldn't have understood Ren, you wouldn't have listened."

No argument from him, I'm only half surprised, Ren isn't as stupid or hotheaded as he pretends to be, but he's still very proud.

"I'm sorry we were all so useless. Are you happy with him?"

"Very. Hao is very good to me."

"He's not trying to kill everyone then?"

I have to laugh at that. "No, same dream, less violence, well, almost the same. We're going to make a world for Shamans, just separate from this one."

"Hm, sounds like a good idea..."

"Then why don't you join us? Yoh would feel better having you as a partner." What is Hao doing here? He's meant to be with Hanagumi.

"Kisama! Why would I help you?" Ouch, that hurt my ears, why does Ren have to yell so loud?

"The only reason you were with them is because of Yoh, but Yoh is with me now. I'm not telling you to lose your pride and obey me, I'm asking if you want to stand by Yoh again." Hao didn't lose his temper, that's good.

"Humph, you really are different."

"Yoh opened my eyes to my foolishness. I don't think any differently about people, just how I deal with them."

"Yoh is very good at that. I accept."

"Ren?" I did not expect that...

"Hao is right, I was there because of you. I will defeat you one day, but for now, I want to help you." Wow, I knew Ren was loyal but...

"Thank you Ren, that really means a lot."

"You will need training." Trust Hao to bring down the mood.

"Fine. I have every intention of getting stronger. Now?" Oh yeah, Ren's a workaholic.

"Yes. You're coming too Yoh."

"Uh, why me?" No fair, I've already trained...

"Because it will be good for you and because Ren will find it easier." Okay, Hao has a point...and I was complaining I was bored...

"Okay." Heh, Ren didn't expect me to agree so easily. "I've changed a lot Ren, I'm not nearly so lazy as I was."

I think he's surprised by that too, but then, I can't really say that I'm surprised, I was pretty much just known for being lazy. Still, everyone has to change sometime and I think it's for the best. I can still be lazy and lie around doing nothing, but it's good to get things done too and I'm in much better shape for it; funny that I'm better off without Anna's excessive training. It's nice not to be worked too hard and still be able to get better, I think balance is good and I know Hao does too. I wonder what he's going to get Ren to do? I don't think it will be the same as I was doing, because his level is a lot lower than mine was. Though that probably means it won't be much fun for Ren, I found it hard enough, but niisan made sure to keep it fun at the same time; he's good like that, for me anyway. Hao has always been pretty good at knowing how far to push me, and when it's best to stop.

Oh dear...Ren is not going to like this...Hao's methods are very good, but Ren's pride is going to have serious problems with this. It is a little on the feminine side, but it would be as embarrassing as wearing a dress in public in Ren's eyes, even if it isn't really. Still, I'm sure Hao will get Ren to do it, he normally gets his own way and Ren does want to get stronger, so he'll have to accept Hao's help. It's kind of sad that Ren strives so hard to beat me, because I don't think he ever will, the only reason I'm so able is because I have Hao's power and that's something no one is going to match. I don't know, maybe he could if he tries hard enough, but I can't really see Hao allowing that. Oh dear...I don't think Hao should be so derogatory, it isn't going to help him and Ren get along...still, I suppose it is one way to keep Ren under control. Great...Anna and everyone else are coming; things were just starting to look up today too.

"Ren! Back off Hao!" Horo-Horo is evidently trying to play hero, that'll annoy Ren.

I don't know what Hao just said to Ren, but he's blushing deeply. "U-urusai! Kisama!"

I want to know what's going on, Hao's as close to being in hysterics as he gets and Ren is still blushing. Everyone else is confused as well, but Hao doesn't seem to care that they're even here and Ren isn't the type to enlighten us; still, it's nice to see them getting along and even nicer to see Hao having so much fun, even if it is at Ren's expense. Hao's leaned on Ren's shoulder to whisper something to him, whatever it was has him blushing more, but also quite amused; I wonder if I should be jealous that Hao and Ren are doing things like that...no, I don't need to worry, I don't want to be that kind of person anyway, plus Hao wouldn't be happy with me. ...Okay, that did not just happen... Ren wouldn't have done something like that and Hao wouldn't have let him, right? The hell does Ren think he's doing? Hao is mine! Okay, calm down Yoh, there has to be a reasonable explanation, Ren wouldn't do that to you and nor would Hao; they were playing around so it must just be a wind-up, that's all. I feel sick; but Hao wouldn't betray me, right? Maybe this was just another game of his? Maybe he doesn't care about me at all? I don't feel well at all; I think I'm going to...pass out...

---

"Ototo, it's time to wake up." Hao? Everything is dark, what's going on? What do you mean, 'time to wake up', am I asleep? But then, how could I hear you?

"Hao?" Where are you? I want to see you. That's right, you and Ren...tell me it wasn't real, please?

A pair of arms wrap around me, it must be Hao, even though I can't see to confirm it. "I'm here Yoh. You need to wake up now."

"If I'm asleep, then how are we talking now?"

"It doesn't matter, but you are asleep. Everyone is worried. Please try now Yoh."

"Hao, what was that with you and Ren? You aren't going to leave me are you?"

"The kiss was a practical joke to annoy your friends, that's all. We wouldn't have done it if we thought you'd get upset. We thought you trusted us more than that."

"I do, I just...I got scared, you mean so much to me..."

"Daijobu ototo. I'm not going to leave you, just trust me."

Right, that's right, I don't need to be frightened. Hao loves me as much as I love him, he wouldn't hurt me. It was silly to have even questioned it and I knew that, but I've come to depend on him so much, I can't help but worry. Still, if I'm asleep, and I don't really feel like I am, how am I supposed to wake up? Why won't Hao explain what this is or how he's here? Did I do something bad by panicking, and he doesn't want to scare me? I don't know how to wake up...Hao? Where did he go? You can't leave me niisan! I don't know how to wake up! Please don't leave me alone! Okay, deep breaths, it's okay. I'm not weak and even if I can't sense him in the never-ending black, I know he's waiting for me to wake up. I've learnt a lot, I just have to stop panicking and figure out what I'm doing. This is just another test of my abilities; it'll all work out.

"So naïve child. That is not how the world works at all."

"Who's there?" I don't like the sound of that back Hao...

"To think you and he could be the same, how sickening. You don't even have the slightest comprehension of where you are, do you? Silly little child."

"Leave me alone." Hao, please come back.

"He will not come back. You got yourself here and you shall have to undo it. Don't think you can however, you are far too foolish."

"Hao is waiting for me. I won't let him down."

Whoever or whatever it is just laughs cruelly, but I will leave, I won't let Hao down. This is a test, not so much of my shaman potential, but of the strength of my will. I know Hao loves me, I know Ren wouldn't do anything to hurt me, I just have to push all my doubts aside and believe that completely; it will all work out, I'm not losing this now and I'm not hurting Hao, I will win this. Just wait for me Hao, you'll see; I am worth all the effort you've given me.

"You certainly seem confident child, but we shall see how far you get. You will need all the various strength you possess, these trails are not easy, most fail and never wake."

"Yoh wasn't trying to enter the trails Esceta, you have no right to chose for him." Hao sounds angry, but I don't care, because he's back with me.

"My dearest Lord, the child is here, conscious choice or not, the choice was made. The trails have been entered, now you must wait. But do not worry, should the boy fail, you will not lose the other half of your soul, it will return to you." So it's called Esceta...

"Leave Yoh be! He isn't ready to be taking the trails on, he doesn't even know what they are!" Do you think I'll lose too?

"It is too late. Leave now, I shall lead your other through the trails."

"Esceta... Fine, but be lenient, Yoh doesn't know anything about this."

"I will judge fairly as always. Esceta has served you well, has she not? If you care for the child so much, I shall be careful for you."

"Good luck Yoh. The only advice I can give you, is don't doubt yourself and try not to doubt me. I do love you very much, and I shall be waiting for you, for as long as it may take."

"I won't let you down niisan." I was right then, this 'trail' is going to try to use my insecurities against me. Well I won't believe it; I won't let myself fall. If I take too long, I may mess up the tournament for Hao, and I can't do that, for everyone's sake.

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Okay, I think that'll have to do for now. If you haven't realised yet, I really have no idea what I'm doing, but nvm.

Anyway, hope everyone enjoyed the chapter. May be a while before I update because I'm stuck for ideas, but I'll try to think of something soon. Please review, it'll help me work faster. Shiny reviews always make an authoress feel better. Ja!


	4. Chapter 4

The priestess carly-chan, glad you're enjoying the fic and there's nothing wrong with hyperness, it brightens up the day.

Rinkurocks, thanks very much, I love the pairing too.

AleGnA, I'm sure Yoh will be okay, eventually anyway, depends how mean I feel.

Fisou, yeah, it was pretty mean, but it was for a good cause.

Shaami, what are you doing here? You're not meant to read something you don't know anything about. All the same, I do appreciate your complements and I'm glad you're enjoying the fic, even if it won't exactly make sense.

Oh dear, this is where I have to try to come up with ideas, not good...

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The never-ending black is slowly fading away, but I think I felt safer not being able to see anything. I don't even want to imagine what Esceta has in store for me, still, I don't have much choice but to deal with what's going on. I don't think I'm going to like this, but I have to do this for niisan, I can't keep him waiting. Hey! This is the Asakura shrine, what am I doing here? Ahh! Chibi me!

"Yoh! What do you think you're doing?" Anna's voice sounds as harsh as ever...

"I'm taking a break Anna, it's too much work." Wow, was I really that lazy?

"Get up now!"

"Anna..."

"Now!"

"Hai Anna..."

There's someone else here too, not just Anna and my younger self, someone familiar. Hey, Anna's leaving before I'm doing what she wants? That's unusual...

"Hi there." Oh my god, chibi Hao!

"Who're you?"

"I think you know who I am Yoh. Also, you can cut the act, I know better."

"You're whoever it is they're trying to hide from me, I guess we're related since we look so much alike." I don't remember this ever happening...is it real?

"That's right. I'm Hao, it's nice to see you again, ototo." So friendly, not like he was, is this really real?

"Ototo? Hm, I see. Well, what is it you want?"

"I want you to come with me, you and I are supposed to be together."

"Then why aren't we?"

"Because they're afraid of me, because they can't understand me, because my power is so much greater than theirs."

"Because you hate everything too much." I'm not that blunt, not ever...

"That's right, but then, after everything, I have every right." True regret, real sadness, that isn't something you'll ever show me, you're always so strong...

"Hao! Get away from him!" Yomei...go away ojiisan!

"Will you come with me? Wouldn't it be nice to stop pretending, to be yourself?" You already know the answer, don't you Hao? That's why you look so sad.

"Gomen nasai niisan." I really do sound hurt, one wistful smile and Hao is gone, leaving little me with chichioya and ojiisan.

"Yoh, what did that boy say to you?" That boy? You can't accept him as your son, can you chichioya?

"Nufin' really." Even so young, lying is so easy, the words so believable.

"We had better take the memories away, Yoh needs no knowledge of Hao, it could ruin our chances." Steal my memories of him? Why? You're afraid I'll care about him, aren't you, ojiisan?

"Hai." How can you agree chichioya? How can you take away my knowledge of him? Don't you know it'll hurt him? He'll hate me for forgetting who I am! Wait, are these my feelings, or are they my younger self's? I don't understand this, is it real, or is this a lie to confuse me? I don't know... Why has everything gone black again?

"That was real child, the trails will only show you what is real, or in cases of the future, what could be real." Esceta... So, I met Hao before? Is that why there was always a mixture of sadness and anger when he saw me?

"Wait, I didn't know Anna then, did I?" I was too young in this image; I didn't meet her, or her oni, until after that.

"You two were not overly familiar, but you had met. Of course, after that day, you didn't remember her either."

"What is the point of these trails Esceta?"

"To show the person all aspects of themselves and for judgment to be made."

"In other words, I accept everything and decide how to continue, then I can wake up. Otherwise, I deny everything, panic, and don't wake up?"

"Perhaps you are not so foolish as I thought. That is correct, these trails will show you many things in many points of view, some may be difficult for you, but if you want to leave..."

"Hai. I'm not going to hide from this, I need to get back to Hao."

"Then let us continue."

Trust myself and trust him, does that mean I'll see something bad? Anything of the future isn't set in stone; Hao knows that bad things will be shown, because he's been through these, so I just have to trust that everything will be okay. I'm going to find out a lot of things I won't like, but I truly believe that everything will work out, as it always has.

Next scene...Hey it's Ren, what are you doing going into our room when Hao and me are sleeping?

"Hao-sama?" Hey? Since when did Ren call anyone 'sama'?

"Ren? What is it?" Hao looks exhausted...is this because he's watching over me? Is this what's happening now?

Oh my...what is Ren doing? Not nice! How dare he kiss my brother!

"It's been months Hao, you need to give up on Yoh coming back."

"The only reason you're saying that Ren, is because you've wanted Yoh since you met him, so now you're trying to sleep with me since you've given up on your chances with him. I on the other hand, have not. I suggest you leave now Tao and don't try anything like that again."

If I'd looked away then, which I must admit I was tempted to, I know I would have missed Hao's dismissal of him. That must be what he meant by trusting him, because if I'd run away from it, it might've given me problems with Hao, though it still might with Ren... Is that why he was blushing so much to Hao's teasing, because he's attracted to us both? Still, he shouldn't be trying it on with someone who's already taken; especially when he knows we're in love with each other. I can't believe that's why he stays around me... Does Hao know how he feels now? If he did, he wouldn't have invited him to join us, would he? Now I'm confusing myself...just shut up head.

"Hao..." Ren's voice is pleading, but it's easy to hear the lust behind it. How disgusting.

"Not ever. Yoh will wake up but even if he didn't, I wouldn't waste myself on you." Hao's voice is like ice, and it works, Ren is quick to leave. "Hurry up Yoh, I don't think I can stand much more of this."

Black again. So that's what could be, or what might have been if I'd run from it, or that's what I believe anyway. I don't think I'll be asleep that long, I can't afford to or the tournament will be over. I don't want to put too much pressure on Hao either; he's been through enough already. I wonder what's going to happen next? In some ways I'm almost afraid to see anything, but in other ways, I really want to know, because there might be other things that I don't remember. It's hard to believe that I met him so long ago, or that my own family have taken so much from me, I was so different then. When given the chance recently, I started training myself, which I think was what I had been doing before Anna turned up, I could have been a lot stronger, and a lot better off if they'd left me alone, Hao wouldn't have been so disappointed with me then. I missed out on so much, just because they were afraid. Had I gone with Hao, maybe everything would have been different, all those deaths could have been avoided, but then again, maybe I would have turned out like Hao and all human life would be non-existent; it's hard to say, especially since I'm bias in niisan's favour. Either way, I can only judge on what I know and how I feel, but it isn't my place to judge others, unless I can fairly judge myself as well. Opinion blinds fact, but truth is based on opinion, so unless you can understand everything as it is, you can't judge anyone or anything fairly. What is good for one is bad for another, so you have to see the world in a different light, or just not try to place labels on others. No one likes to be criticised or judged harshly, so they shouldn't do it to others, it's only fair.

I wonder what's going to happen this time? Chibi me again...this must be just after what I saw last time, wait, does that mean I'll have to see what they did? I'm not really sure that I want to, but I know it's important; after all, it could be the key to me remembering everything again. That is horrible...how could they do something like that? I really don't want to watch this but I know I need to. I'm going to be sick... I can't believe they cut me open, they don't even seem sorry for it, there's no regret, no sign that they even think there's anything wrong with it. How can they do that to someone and not care? They're doing god only knows what to me, and it looks more like they're on a nice day trip or something! Wait, what's that? A crystal shard? You have got to be kidding; they're going to put that thing in me? That's disgusting...but I have an answer as to why I forgot, I guess that's something. Still, if I want to have my memories back, I'll have to go through all that again to take the crystal back out. I don't think I like that idea very much though, it looked really painful. Sacrifice for gain, I guess...not that I know how I'd manage it even if I wanted to, I can't exactly do it myself. I don't really know that I want to talk to Hao about it either though, because I know he'll be furious with them, maybe even with me, for allowing them to do it, not that I didn't struggle, but I didn't use my shaman abilities. I always pretended I couldn't do what they asked, so I was afraid to do anything that would show my abilities; but then, I didn't think my own family would hurt me.

"I can assist you with this, if that is your chosen path." Esceta's voice is soft, I don't know whether to be worried by that or not, she did promise Hao to be nice though...

"How could you?" I'm not getting myself into anything unless I know the consequences.

"With no harm to you little master. In these trails, these things are very easy."

"I think it would probably be best to know what I should."

"It will be good for Hao-sama also, the trails will be completed far more quickly this way. It will cause discomfort for you however."

"So I gathered. It's something I'll have to deal with, ne?"

"Then prepare yourself little master, and when your consciousness returns, you shall be back to who you should be, and back with master Hao."

I just nod, not really sure what to say. The wave of pain hits far faster than I had expected and I know it won't be long before I pass out from it. I didn't know my head could hurt so much...still, even as everything goes black, I know I'll be back with niisan soon enough, so everything is okay.

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Bit shorter this time, but I wanted to keep this chapter separate from the rest.

I know I kind of messed up the mankin storyline, but it's for a good cause. I know I'm being pretty mean to most of the characters, but it helps will all the depression and angst, I may be nicer later, though not to the Asakura's, they're too mean to Hao...

Anyway, I'd better shut up now, ne? Hope you all enjoyed the chapter. I'll update whenever I actually manage to write another chapter. Please review! Ja!


	5. Chapter 5

Fisou, don't worry, Hao won't have to wait very long at all, in fact, I give it all of thirty seconds once I start the chapter.

AleGnA, haoscutebutyohshot, and Kuroi kitty, glad you're enjoying the fic.

Princess Cherryblossom3, glad you like, as for Ren, you'll find out soon, probably this chapter.

The priestess Carly-chan, glad you're enjoying it and thanks for the complements, as for your request, I think it's mad cuz I'm not very good, but it's your life, so you can do as you please.

And finally, Shaami. Quit complaining! It wasn't that short, not compared to some other chapters for my other fics. If your not careful you'll only get a page for this one, or the next one, or maybe even all of them! Lol, no I couldn't really be that mean.

Anyway, on with the fic...

* * *

I've been awake for about five minutes now, but I have yet to open my eyes, or make any signs to show that I am. My head is spinning, too much information bombarding me all at once. That's a point; I wonder how Hao will take it? I'm going to act differently; I don't feel like the same person, though it's not as bad as if this had happened before the fake Shaman fight... Still, Hao must expect some changes; after all, he knows what happened and what we talked about, though it won't make a lot of sense if I bite Ren's head off...he deserves it though, baka na hentai...

That's a little better; my head isn't spinning so much; so I can kind of pay attention to my surroundings, though not as well as I should be able to. I can feel Hao's presence nearby, but I think he's sleeping, otherwise he would have noticed that I'm awake by now. There's another presence approaching too, it better not be who I think it is or I'm likely to bite his head off.

"Hm, still asleep. Hurry and wake up Yoh." There is definitely longing in Ren's voice, but not the lust there was in my vision. I still can believe he has feelings for me, let alone Hao too. It makes me feel ill to be honest, but I'm not sure why, after all, it's Hao and I who shouldn't really be together. Though saying that, since we can't have kids, it should be okay, since that's why the stupid law was set up. At the end of the day, love is pure, you shouldn't be told your not allowed to be with the one you love. Assuming the feeling is mutual anyway...

"You're awake?" Hao asks gently. It's only then I realise that he's awake and Ren has left. I get far too caught up in my thoughts sometimes, that's why everyone thinks I daydream all the time.

I decide to try and sit up, still keeping my eyes closed, but Hao is quick to stop me. "I asked if you were awake, I didn't say to get up. Just rest until you feel well enough."

"How long have I been?" I ask quietly, finally opening my eyes to look at his beautiful but worried face.

"Only a week, you haven't missed any matches. I haven't bothered training Ren."

"Good. I changed my mind, I don't want to work with him."

Hao smirks slightly. "That's more like my Yoh. You remember then, that's good. Still, what did you see to make you annoyed with him?"

"He did something only I should be allowed to do." I reply, pouting heavily.

He laughs a little, before kissing me passionately, as I had hoped he would. "I knew he had feelings for you, but I didn't think he'd ever dare do anything. I wasn't aware I was part of the equation though."

"Well, we do look alike, though you are prettier than I am, so it shouldn't be surprising." I have to smile, knowing that Hao is planning on arguing that I'm the better-looking one. "Don't argue with me niisan!" I make my voice whiny, knowing it will make him stop.

Hao really is so very sweet, and cute, and sexy, and...I think I'd better shut up already...

"I'm glad you're awake ototo."

"I told you I wouldn't keep you waiting."

"Yoh..." I know what he wants to ask, there's only one subject he'd be hesitant on, I urge him to continue anyway. "I was wondering, why it was that, well...why you forgot me?"

"Uh, quick version okay?" I wait until he nods before continuing. "Basically, they cut my neck open and stuck a small crystal into the wound. Esceta got rid of it for me."

Even though he's trying not to show it, I know he's furious. I had hoped my lackadaisical reply would have taken some of the edge off, but it hasn't. I can see the swirling emotions all to clearly, anger, disgust, hatred, regret, and guilt. He blames himself for not making me go, for letting them see us together, he wants to change what happened, so I wouldn't get hurt. He can't comprehend why they'd hurt me, which I couldn't either, but they did. I know I was screaming, begging them to stop, the pain took all sense away, I would never have considered using my powers, I couldn't think. Placing me with Anna was cruel too, all part of their plan to make me their savour, they knew she'd push me, what they didn't know, was that they took away their own best chance. Even if I did defeat Hao, it was fluke, everyone's power combined, it could never happen again. It was a test of some sort I think, but I know even though Hao has the answers, he would never tell me, not unless I told him everything and only then would he hint at whether I was right or wrong. Hao doesn't want another lackey; he wants an equal, an opposite, the balance that should exist, but that was lost so long ago. Inyou no chigiri.

"What exactly gave them the idea it was okay to do that?" Hao spat through gritted teeth.

I shrug nonchalantly, hoping to calm him down a little, though I doubt it will. "I'm not too happy about it either, but still..."

"What?" Confused is better than angry. I don't like seeing him angry.

"What's done is done, everything's okay now, so it doesn't matter."

"Maybe, but I'm still less then happy about it and I'm not letting them near you."

"That's fine with me, I'm not making the same mistake twice."

"I'm sorry ototo, I shouldn't have left you."

"It was my choice Hao, don't blame yourself. Neither of us expected them to do something like that. Their hatred of you seems to have blinded them too much."

"Hm, they may hate you..."

"Let them. I don't care. I'm not exactly pleased with them. Besides, I have the one person I need, that's all that matters."

"You're too cute sometimes. Okay, I'm not angry anymore. Now, I need some sleep, so unless you need to get up to eat or something, come here."

I smile brightly, even if it didn't seem like a week, I have missed his company, so it'll be nice to spend some time together doing something so simple. "Hai niisan!"

It's so nice to be here like this, I love being with him, the gentle embrace that feels so safe and secure. It's a promise of eternity, rather than protection, neither of us really needs protecting, and really, it would be disrespectful to think that way. We've both worked hard to get as good as we are. Funny how I ended up exactly as I would have done had they not interfered, I guess destiny was against them. Not that I'm complaining, being with Hao, happily in love is far better than being stuck with Anna bossing me around for the rest of eternity, that was beginning to drive me up the wall.

"Yoh-sama! You're awake! I thought I heard you." Wow, when did Macchi get so hyperactive?

"Yeah, woke up a little bit back. You all okay?" Heh, I am definitely different.

"Fine. We don't have to worry now. I'm glad you're okay Yoh-sama, I know Kanna and Mari will be too when I tell them."

"Do me a favour Macchi, just keep it between the five of us, don't tell anyone else yet. Poor Hao needs to get some sleep."

She smiles brilliantly at me, probably because I made it clear I trust the three of them most. "Hai, Yoh-sama. O-yasumi nasai."

I just nod to the greeting, which counts as a dismissal as well. Usually I'll answer back, but I must admit, I'm a little startled to see her so excited, it isn't like her at all. She is definitely the most hyper of the three, but that was a little much even for her. Still, it's nice to see her happy, the three of them were a little miserable during what I've dubbed, the fake tournament. Hao has already fallen asleep, he was exhausted, not that he would have admitted that fact of course...I don't feel tired though, I'm just restless. Guess I'll have to go for a walk, it's about midnight now, so everyone should be sleeping meaning it should be okay, because I really can't be bothered with harassment right now.

The sky tonight is beautiful, it's very clear; so all the stars can be seen, as well as the hunter's moon, which provides a surprising amount of light. It's a nice night to be out, it isn't too hot or too cold; it's very peaceful too. Unfortunately, I'm not the only one who's walking around as I'd hoped, though I'm not completely sure who it is, my head is still throbbing, which is no good for my abilities at all. Still, I don't need to worry; I'm still good enough to protect myself from anyone, even if my senses are a little off.

"Yoh..." Ren. That's just typical, the one person I really don't want to see right now is the one person who's awake.

"Hn?" Maybe if I'm not really conversational, he'll leave me alone?

"You're awake. How do you feel?"

"Fine." Please let him get the hint...

"Have I upset you?"

"Maybe."

"Yoh?"

"How am I meant to feel, knowing that? After what I saw, it's very difficult to trust you anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"Just leave me alone for a while Ren. I need time to think, and Hao and I have a lot to figure out."

"You don't want me around at all, do you?"

"Not right now, no. Maybe I'll change my mind after a while, I don't know yet."

Finally getting the message, he leaves. I know my words upset him, but I can't trust him to be around me, or Hao for that matter... It's kind of sad, Ren was the one I had the most trust and respect for, and now that's all gone. Still, maybe when I think through everything and put it perspective, I might be able to be at least a little more mature about it. After all, technically, he hasn't done anything wrong. It's just hard to believe that everything is okay with him after what I saw, how can I trust that he won't really try something like that? Excluding him completely isn't really fair though, Ren has been a good friend to me, whatever his reasons. I suppose part of it was Hao's fault too, he did kiss Ren, even if it was playfully, but Hao is a very good kisser, so it isn't really surprising that Ren might want more. I don't think I should be thinking things like that though; in fact, I need to stop thinking so much, it isn't good for me.

I know it will only be a matter of time until my father and the others show up, Anna will have found out that I'm with Hao by now, so she will have told them. Yomei will be furious about it, so will chichioya, not that I'm sure I want to call him that anymore... I don't really think that I want anything to do them anymore. I still can't believe that they'd do something like that to me; it isn't fair by any means, yet they're going to be angry with us. How could they do that and carry on as though nothing was wrong? They did me so much harm to me, not only physically, but also because my skills and knowledge are seriously lacking compared to what they should be. Sticking me with Anna wasn't very nice either, and I wouldn't have been so lazy had they not done that to me. I'm not getting anywhere with all this thinking though, I'm still at the same conclusions I had already made. I need to find something to get rid of these thoughts and feelings, they're not doing me any good, I'm just getting stressed over everything, which isn't really relevant anymore.

What I need to figure out is what to do about Ren, we have to have a team set up for when the matches are due, otherwise they'll be problems. I wonder what Hao had in mind for it anyway? He hasn't exactly been forth-coming, though if he was planning on asking Ren to join us, then that may have been why he was so adamant about not telling me. That does lead to the problem that we may be short a member if I get rid of Ren, though really, he isn't up to standards anyway, saying that though, no one is. We may have to keep him anyway, though nothing says we have to train him, or pay him much attention. I'm being so selfish about this...

"You okay?" I don't know how Hao talks so quietly and softly, but can still be heard.

"Fine, just thinking everything through. Or trying to...I seem to be going round in a circle." Round and round and round. It's annoying really.

"Ren and our dearly beloved family?"

"Yeah. Ren was here a little while ago; I think I was a little harsh. He hasn't really done anything, but I'm afraid he might...I know it's selfish, but..."

"What does your heart tell you?"

"To give him a chance, but not let either of us be alone with him."

Hao's laughter is so beautiful. "I'm sure we can manage that ototo, though I think that was your paranoia speaking, not your heart."

I know I'm blushing, because of the amused smile on his face. "Maybe a little. Okay, I'll go apologise in the morning."

"They're coming you know?"

"Let them, they're only wasting their time. I'm not wasting any on them."

"You're sure? You wouldn't leave then."

"I didn't know what they were like then, I was worried about upsetting them, and I knew you were strong enough to be fine. Now I know the truth, they've lost me. I won't go through that again."

"Let's get some rest Yoh, tomorrow is going to be a very long day."

I can't be bothered to do any more than nod, I am tired, and my head isn't happy with me. I can't complain though, I'm in the arms of the person I love and I know we'll be happy and safe together, so everything's okay. I'm glad it's so dark though; being carried around would be very embarrassing if there were other people around. We're finally settled back in bed, one last love-filled kiss and I know sleep is on the verge of taking me. I didn't realise until now, just how tiring the trials were. That doesn't matter though; all I can do is hope that tomorrow won't be too taxing.

* * *

You know, I think I managed to write yet another completely uneventful chapter... I blame Yoh; it's head after all.

I'll try to make the next one more interesting, though they'll be a lot of character bashing, so don't say I haven't warned you.

Anyway, I'll shut up now. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review! Ja ne!


	6. Chapter 6

Is it really morning already? It doesn't feel like it should be, but then, I was awake in the early hours of the morning. Hao left a few minutes ago, mumbling something about the oracle bell; I don't think he was too happy about being awake either. I know I need to get up, but I don't really want to, other than the fact that I'm tired; there's all the harassment I'm guaranteed to receive, as well as having to talk to Ren and apologise for what I said last night, no, it was this morning wasn't it? Oh never mind...either way, I need to talk to him without being childish and snapping at him. Hanagumi will be waiting for me to appear too, Macchi made that more than clear. I suppose I should make the effort to get up, after all, I do want to know what Hao was talking about. We might have a match, which means I'd better hurry up and make up with Ren. Although, wouldn't I have heard mine if that were the case? Uh, where is mine? Not good...hopefully Hao has it somewhere...

"Yoh-sama!" Macchi's still hyperactive then...

"O-hayo." I'm still half-asleep, so I can't be that cheerful.

"Is Yoh-sama okay now? Mari was worried." Mari is still talking in third-person. Why?

"I'm fine thanks Mari, or I will be once I wake up anyway." Mari is Mari; she can talk how she likes.

"Ren is by the lake, I think he's waiting for you." Sometimes I think Kanna is psychic...

"Okay, thanks Kanna. I'll see you guys later."

I must admit, I'm a little nervous about speaking to Ren, I know I upset him, and Ren is very proud, so he won't take it too well. Maybe I'll be lucky and he'll be okay about it, after all, I had just been through a lot and Ren isn't stupid enough to think I'd be 100 after that...right? I have got to stop worrying about this; I might as well just talk to him and get it over and done with. Questioning myself on things I don't have the answer to won't help me in any way. Right, deep breath, Ren isn't anything to be afraid of.

"O-hayo Yoh." No surprise Ren knows I'm here.

"Ya. Uh, Ren, I..." That was eloquent, since when do I stutter?

"I know Yoh. It's okay, I'm not angry." He really is okay about it...

"Thanks Ren. I am sorry I snapped though, it was stupid."

"Daijobu. We have a match you know?"

"No, I didn't. My oracle bell seems to have vanished. When, and who against?"

"I think Hao has your oracle bell, so I'll let him tell you."

"Sou ka? Any idea where he vanished to?"

"Iie."

He's enjoying this far too much...still; I guess its fair play for last night. I wonder whom we're going to fight? What if it's someone I know? Wait, why does it matter if I do? I need to stop thinking so much. Anyway, I need to find Hao to find out what's going on.

--

Where has he disappeared? I've looked through the entire camp and I can't find him anywhere. I must having been searching for about 15 minutes without any luck at all; I haven't even found any clues as to where he might have gone. I can't really wander too far though; meeting the others would be a bad idea. Minna...that gives me an idea, Hanagumi are bound to know where Hao is, so I just have to find them. Though saying that, I don't recall seeing them in my search for Hao either...today just seems to be a wild goose chase. Why does everything have to be so difficult?

Another 15 minutes wasted, I was right, I didn't see Hanagumi anywhere before... Maybe I should go back and talk to Ren, something is going on and I think he has a fairly good idea what. Back to the lake again then...I'm really beginning to hate walking, well, mildly dislike anyway...

This is definitely someone's idea of a joke; Ren is nowhere to be found now either. I want to know what's going on, why has everyone vanished? This isn't fair...why has everyone left me alone? I can't even feel anyone; my senses seem to be dimmed, though I don't understand why that is. Hey, there's Mari! I'd better be quick and catch her before she vanishes again.

"Ne! Mari!" Please hear me and stop...

"Yoh-sama...nan desu ka?" That's odd, she seems pretty unhappy to see me.

"Where is Hao, do you know?"

"Hao-sama is busy. He'll call you when he's ready."

"Ready for what?"

"Just wait for Hao-sama. I need to go now Yoh-sama."

So there definitely is something going on... I wonder what Hao has in mind? I just don't understand what's going on today, why all the secrecy? This is so very strange... So much trouble, just because I wanted to know whom the match was against and when. Maybe I should just go back to bed, I am still pretty tired and there's less than nothing to do since everyone has left me alone.

--

"Yoh, ne, Yoh." Who is that? No, more importantly, why are they bothering me?

"What?"

"Come on Yoh, wake up."

"Ren? What do you want?"

"Hao is waiting for you, come on."

So I'm good enough to be seen now? Well maybe I want to carry on sleeping instead? It's nice and warm in here, I'm so comfortable and I'm still sleepy...

"Don't want to. I'm staying asleep."

"Don't be so stubborn Asakura, get up now."

Ren sounds pretty angry, maybe I'd better get up. I really feel like just staying here and being lazy. "Fine, fine...Really Ren, you're no fun."

I hear him snort disdainfully, nothing unusual there then. Best open my eyes and get up I guess. Besides, I am still curious as to what's been going on, I would rather find out from my bed though... Hao doesn't have much patience for laziness, so I'd better hurry up, plus, Ren has a much shorter fuse, so I really shouldn't still be laid here. Up I get...yeah, Ren is definitely getting annoyed with me, opps...

"Took you long enough, now hurry up."

"Hai..." So stressy, he is such a silly Tao.

Where are we going? I haven't been here before. Is this where Hao has been hiding all morning? Once again, I'm asking myself questions I can't answer; I really need to stop doing this. Oh, are we there? Wow, this is what they've been doing all morning? But what are all these decorations for?

"You really don't know what day it is, do you?" Why does Hao have to sound so smug and condescending?

"Ne?" I really don't know what he's talking about...

"May 12 mean anything to you?" Yeah, that date sounds familiar, but why?

"Oh." It's our birthday, isn't it...I guess I must have lost track.

"So slow, do you actually have a brain in that head of yours?" Ren is so mean to me...

"We're going to have a party with everyone, then we're having some time alone. Okay?" Hao's voice is laced with amusement; it isn't my fault I didn't know what date it was...

"That sounds nice niisan. Arigato minna."

Everyone is enjoying my ignorance far too much, no fair. Oh well, it doesn't matter; I'll just ignore it and have fun. I can't believe its my birthday already, time really has flown. I can't believe that I'm 17 already; I'll be all grown up soon. Well, technically anyway, I don't think I'll ever really be an adult; I don't want to be boring like them. I mean, why does everyone have to stop having fun and be all serious, stressed and dull? It doesn't seem particularly beneficial to me. Non-shaman people are strange, though saying that, a lot of shaman's are strange too, it must just be people in general.

"You're meant to be enjoying yourself you know." I love being this close to Hao; it feels so safe and comfortable.

"I am, I was just thinking."

"Enough internal monologues, have some fun or they'll never leave, and I'm quite intent on us having some alone time."

"Sounds nice, I think I need some one-on-one attention."

Mustn't deepen the kiss or things may get out of hand, and that isn't a good idea. Well, it isn't a good idea in public; otherwise it's very good. Hao is far too dreamy...wow, I sounded like an obsessive fan girl then...I think I've lost the plot, again, no, actually I know I have, but then again, what does it matter?

Hao is right, I need to stop thinking so much, it's the first birthday we've got to share, so I should make the most of it. Everyone has made such a big effort and they all seem quite excited about having a party; it would be a shame to let it go to waste.

--

That was so much fun, I never realised what a laugh everyone could be, even Ren dropped his normal façade and joined in the festivities. I feel absolutely exhausted after all that though, so hopefully whatever Hao has in mind won't require too much effort. I certainly wouldn't expect the same kind of events with just the two of us though. I mean, Ren getting egg and floured was so funny, though I must admit I was glad it wasn't me, but it isn't something I'd expect from Hao; Hanagumi certainly had fun doing it though and even Ren saw the funny side and decided he's share the 'cake mixture' with everyone else, which resulted in a huge food fight. Hao stayed well out of the way, but I joined in, didn't get hit with anything though thankfully.

"Have you had a good day?" Oh yeah, I've been ignoring Hao again, haven't I?

"Very tiring, but yes, I've had an absolutely great day. Thanks so much. I feel kind of bad though, you've done all this, but it's your birthday too..."

"Seeing you happy is more than enough for me. Besides, this is our present, a beautiful night to spend together. That's all I want."

"You're so lovely, I'm so lucky to have you. We're just going to enjoy each others company, no more running around?"

"No ototo, no more using excess energy. This is time to relax."

"That's good. Snuggling up to you sounds just perfect. I love you so much Hao."

"I love you too Yoh, very much."

This really is the most perfect birthday I could ask for, I really love being with him, I am so very lucky and I know it all too well. Niisan takes such good care of me, it seems strange that we were enemies; I can't imagine not being with him now. All he needed was love, a friend, yet the one I should have tried hardest for, was the one I forsook. Still, everything worked out in the end, and I think we're much closer because things went the way they did. As they say, you don't know what you have until you lose it, and we definitely learnt that lesson all too well. I love that we can just sit in each other's embrace without having to say anything, to be safe and secure, without any worries. What we have is truly a gift and we both know it and value it as such.

Dusk is setting in now, a few stars have already appeared, but plenty more are still waiting to be seen. All shamans appreciate the stars, but so many people ignore their existence, oblivious of their value. Hao has a far greater understanding of their spiritual value than the rest of us, but then, he is far older too. Anyone can see how much he values the stars though, from his clothing to his team name, I don't think anyone has ever asked him why though. Not even I have queried it with him, for some reason, it just feels like prying into something which is just too personal to ask. I know I wouldn't offend him by asking, and I expect he'd probably laugh at me for hesitating to, but it just doesn't feel right, so I won't do it.

"It's going to be a beautiful night, ne? The stars are so bright already." I feel kind of bad for not speaking to him, even though I know he doesn't mind.

"Yes, but unfortunately it will be wasted. We have a battle tonight."

"Who is it against?"

"I'm not familiar with the group. I don't think they took part before. From what Kanna tells me they're not particularly worth the effort."

"Okay. Maybe we should make Ren do everything then?"

"Since when did you develop sadistic tendencies?"

"Never! It'd just be interesting to see how he handled it is all. I suppose we can't really risk playing around too much though can we?"

"Not really. Anyway, enough talking..."

More kissing...that's fine with me, this is one activity that I enjoy far more than listening to, or even meeting Bob. My Hao is much better, not sure about singing, but I from what Mari told me, he is quite talented in that department too. Still, singing is the last thing I care about right now, this is far more enjoyable. I hope Bob doesn't mind...I still think he's really great. I don't think he'd mind me loving Hao more... Well, he wouldn't be very nice if he did anyway, I should love Hao much more; otherwise it would make me a bad person, wouldn't it? Oh Yoh, shut up already, this is Hao's and your birthday, you're supposed to be enjoying yourself, not haven't pointless debates with yourself. Oh dear, things are getting a bit heated, probably not a good idea out in the open, but then, no one would come here would they? Everyone is still afraid of Hao; they're hardly going to roam around where we're staying. At least, most people go out of their way to avoid Hao anyway, I know my old team are an exception to that rule. Hao is getting way too horny,

I'm not going to have a top on much longer, though I suppose that's better than other garments I could lose...

"Yoh!"

Oh shit. I know that voice all too well, guess Anna found out I don't intend to marry her...not good...

"Get your hands off my fiancé, Hao!"

"Yoh is mine itako, he always has been and always will be, so I'll do as a please with him." Good thing Hao doesn't have to worry about Anna, the insinuations in that are pretty much a death sentence.

"Hands off!"

"No. I'm quite comfortable like this."

Oh dear...this is not good. Trapped in a bitch-fight between Anna and Hao isn't something I envisioned for my birthday. I do hope this isn't going to turn into an all-out war. I really don't want trouble starting, certainly not over me. Plus, two empaths at each other's throats is trouble in itself. Shamanic empaths fighting over a poor little shaman, wait, why don't I just tell Anna to go away? I don't have to be afraid of her; I know that, so why am I being so stupid about this? It's just a habit after so many years of torment from her I guess. Oh, when did Hao get up? I can't believe I didn't notice that, do I really get that caught up in my thoughts? Maybe they had a right to think I was daydreaming all the time after all. Bad idea...I really don't want Hao and Anna in a proper fight. I mean, I know Hao won't get hurt, but it will cause yet more unwanted problems for us.

"Ano...minna..." I should have known they'd ignore me... "Hey!" Ah, that worked. "At the end of the day, it's my life and my choice. Take a hint Anna."

"Yoh...What have you done to him Hao?" Anna is in denial big time.

"I haven't done anything, I don't need to. Yoh is mine." Poor niisan is still getting blamed for everything...I don't think he really cares though.

"Anna, enough, please? This is our birthday after all, don't spoil it." I don't expect pleading to get me very far, but anything is worth a try.

"Yes, Yoh, both of you are twins. Do you understand that? Twins don't do things like that! You're my fiancé, start acting like it!" Ouch, Anna is such a bitch...

"Back off." Oh-oh, Hao's in a bad mood now, I guess he saw me flinch.

"I don't think so! Yoh is my fiancé! I'm not giving the future Shaman King up to you!" So I am still a tool to you, Anna?

"Hao, Yoh, its time to get going." Saved by Ren...

"Please understand Anna. I can't be with someone I don't love, and as much as I thought I did, I learnt years ago that it wasn't true. I'm staying with niisan, no matter what anyone says."

Right, Shaman Fight here we come. I hope the opponents aren't too weak, I think Hao and I could use some stress-relief after that 'little encounter'. Anna really does come across as a heartless bitch, even if I know it isn't true, at least not completely...

* * *

So sorry I've been so long minna! I've been busy at work and a little lacking in motivation, but I did get it done eventually. I did intend to do much more, but after making you wait so long, I thought I'd better leave it; otherwise you would've been waiting for ages.

Anyway, thanks for all the reviews, they're always appreciated, and no Tenshi no Haru-Kaze, this is just HaoXYoh, the Ren thing was a brief distraction and is only one-sided.

Anyway, better get this up before I get hunted down or something...

Hope you enjoy this chapter, please review as always. Ja!


	7. Chapter 7

I don't think I've had a battle this late since the original preliminaries. It seems pretty odd to be doing this kind of thing after so long, especially this late at night, but I can't say that I'm worried. I must admit that I'm pretty confidant about the tournament, with everything that I've learnt since the last one. Besides the fact that Hao is the strongest shaman of us all, it was only by fluke I beat him last time and only because everyone shared their power with me. I am part of Hao's bloodline, so I guess that I was the only one with a chance. I'm much stronger now too, I've learnt so much, not just fighting, or furyoku, but about the planet and the natural power everything has, I know I can deal with at least most shamans now, because I can see how their power works and counter it.

Kanna doesn't seem to think much of the group we're facing, but Macchi told me a little more about them and they could be troublesome if taken too lightly. They work well as a team, that's for sure; the two others complement the leader, their spirit's abilities making his far more effective. They're dangerous too; they're not playing around. Everyone to lose to them so far has lost their lives.

Well, they look normal enough, though the girls seem to worship the boy a little too much, and the boy is pretty stuck up, he holds a definite air of authority about him, pretty regal. I wonder if he's from the aristocrats? He certainly dresses as though he's got a lot of money. The girls aren't from the same class he is, their attire is much more standard, though they've added their own marks to it. The blonde girl, who looks to be the youngest of the three is dressed completely in black, with an odd design stitched onto the arm, I think it's meant to be linked to thieves, but I'm not completely sure about that, the older, pink-haired girl has a wrap-around skirt that looks almost amazon-ish, it's very untidy, but it does suit her, looking at her weapon, a blow-pipe is probably quite well linked with the theme. Finally to the boy, the crest on his shirt is undoubtedly that of a knight, but from the colour, I'd guess that unlike Kanna's, this one is a dark knight.

They've barely acknowledged our presence yet, all they did was glare slightly when we arrived, I guess I expected a little more than that considering their bad reputation. At least Hao had a good reason behind his actions, whereas these idiots just want power. They're not going to get it though; there is no way we're going to lose to them. Ren may or may not have problems, but I'm pretty confident in my own abilities and Hao is the best shaman in existence, so they don't stand a chance. I was complaining about them idolizing the boy, but I think I'm just as bad with Hao. Still, I just love Hao a lot, I don't worship the very ground he walks on like they do with their 'leader'. I wonder who is going to referee the match tonight, no one's come as of yet and the match is due to start soon. Complain and you get you're answer, Silva is going to be in charge of the proceedings, I'm surprised they'll let him have anything to do with Hao to be honest, but I've never minded Silva, so it makes no difference to me, and I don't think he'd be stupid enough to do anything. He and Kalim found out the hard way that they are no match for Hao.

"Are you okay Yoh?" Hao sounds worried, I wonder why?

"I'm fine niisan, why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seemed too quiet is all."

"I guess you're still not used to me thinking so much, huh? No one else would believe that though, they all thought I just daydreamed all the time…"

Good, that made him smile, as I hoped it would. I don't like to make him worry about me. We never really knew each other in the first place and I've changed so much from the hyperactive kid I was, I think it's difficult for him to know what to expect. Still, we can only be ourselves, and it would be boring if we knew everything about each other. I've got to stop drifting into thinking mode all the time, it's no good for me, not that it's a bad thing to think, just not over-thinking too often, or when you're about to get into a fight with someone who wants to kill you.

"Shaman battle between Hoshigumi and Team Royal, begin!" Oh, so soon? Silva didn't half scare me yelling that all of a sudden.

The girls moved in front of the boy, the flanking manoeuvre isn't really going to be much good should Hao use Spirit of Fire's normal form, I think he might choose not to though. Hao has been fighting with his sword a lot recently, mainly for my benefit, and the glint in his eyes suggests that he's out for some fun; I think he plans on making a fool of the overly proud boy. Though how the boy can be so stuck up when he's hiding behind the two girls is beyond me.

Didn't take long for Ren to get bored, he's charging ahead by himself already, without the slightest thought. Doesn't he realise that they're positioned that way for a reason? Oh well, Ren's going to get knocked down a peg or two.

"You're not going to warn him?" Hao definitely sounds like he's up to trouble.

"Nah, Ren can learn the hard way. Amidamaru." And here appears my shiny blue sword.

I've gotten pretty lazy with the whole, yelling commands thing, Amidamaru knows what I want him to do, I don't need to tell him every time. Hao doesn't even bother to say anything at all, but Spirit of Fire is different anyway.

"Well, shall we help him, or just wait a while?"

"Might as well join in, ne? Don't feel like trying too hard though."

"That's fine. Besides which, Ren needs the practice and if either of us try, the match won't last too long."

I can't disagree with that, their levels don't seem to be very high; I expect that's why no one takes them seriously, despite their harsh way of doing things. I was right about them working as a team though, they're effectively dealing with Ren, despite the fact that his level and ability is so much higher.

"Kisama!" Oh dear, Ren's getting angry, not a good idea… "Jukka Zan Mai!"

Actually that worked quite well, it separated the three of them rather effectively and they're certainly weaker apart than they are together. The pink-haired girl seems a little concerned, but the blonde doesn't seem too bothered, though she doesn't seem to be too happy to be separated from the boy. He is still wearing an arrogant smirk, which Ren seems more than eager to remove. I will admit he comes across as being quite annoying, but Ren can be just as bad. Ahh, looks like the poor dark knight is struggling, he seriously underestimated Ren.

"Sion!" Both the girls yelled in unison, so I guess that must be the boy's name.

"Relax. Now Karina!" Sion's giving orders, wonder what's to come?

The pink-haired girl has made a move, so I guess she must be Karina.

"Zara! Amazon's Bane!" Wow, not a bad move, she's drained most of Ren's furyoku.

"Samantha!" Now the blonde has moved, wonder what comes next…

Crystal! Stone Cast!" This one causes paralysis, and with such low furyoku, Ren can't break free of it. Seems they know what they're doing, but they seem to have forgotten about Hao and myself.

"Now, let's get this finished shall we. Velios, Death Edge!" Shit, Sion's going to kill him!

"Spirit of Fire." Hao! That's good, Ren's okay.

"Thanks…" Ren doesn't sound too happy having to be saved, oh well, he shouldn't have gotten over-confident. I'm just glad Hao stepped in; I was too surprised to act.

"Hn. Spirit of Fire, finish it." Hao sounds pretty bored, but kind of annoyed at the same time, I don't think he wanted to have to step in, any more than Ren wanted to be rescued.

"Hoshigumi wins!" Oh, Silva is still around, that was a little delayed, so I was beginning to wonder.

Actually, everyone seems pretty awestruck, I wonder why.

"Because I didn't kill them, that's why." I really wish Hao wouldn't whisper in my ear so sexily in public, it's not fair; it's not as though I can react, and I want to.

"They can't understand things are different, they're too stupid." Didn't take long for Ren to slip back into his normal cocky demeanour…

"Yoh-kun?" Huh, what does Silva want?

"Nan desu ka?"

"What's…"

Oh, he's talking about Hao, isn't he? "Do you think I'd be helping him if things were still the same? You don't need to worry about Hao."

"You seem certain, I suppose Ren must be too. I'll trust you Yoh-kun." Faust…

"I agree too. Good luck in the tournament!" Ryu too, maybe they really are good friends as I first though.

"Arigato minna." I'm glad. I don't think the others are going to agree, certainly not Lyserg or Anna, but at least three of them are willing to understand and trust me.

"Yoh-kun…" Manta? "Is this really okay, Yoh-kun?"

"Hai. You know I wouldn't do this otherwise, right? Same for Amidamaru."

"So, Hao really isn't trying to…"

"Hao's goal is still the same, a world for shamans; but we're going to make a world separate to this one, one that isn't covered in blood and hate."

"Would, I be allowed to visit? I'm kind of a shaman, right?"

"Nothing Hao creates is anything worth anyone's time! Hao isn't going to win this tournament! Hao isn't having you!" Ouch, Anna screeching is painful…

"Yoh-kun, after everything we went through, how can you stand by his side?" Lyserg sounds genuinely hurt, he really thinks of this as betrayal.

"Minna…" Why can't they understand?

"Forget it Yoh, they won't listen. Let's go." Ren is always so harsh, but I think he's right; they aren't going to accept Hao has changed, and they certainly won't accept the two of us being together. Thankfully no one understood what Anna meant though.

"Yoh…" Horo Horo is against this too…

"I'm staying with Hao. Things aren't the same as they were, even if you don't want to believe that. If you want to let your hatred blind you so much, it's your choice."

"You're not going anywhere with him Yoh!" I really am beginning to dislike hearing Anna's voice…

"Dameru. Yoh can do as he pleases. You have no say in the matter itako." Hao isn't going to start another fight is he? They really seem to hate each other…

Yeah, they're definitely going to start another fight… Anna is positively fuming, not that Hao cares, or maybe he does, he seems to enjoy making her angry. She hates him for what he did to me, and for 'stealing' me from her; while he hates her for the way she's always treated me, it's a nightmare…

"Uh, we're going now…Ja minna." I'd better get Hao out of here before things become even more difficult.

"I really dislike her…" Wow, I think that must be the most childish thing I've ever heard him say, he's even pouting…is this really niisan?

"Join the club." Ren's as sarcastic as ever; at least that's a constant.

"Try living with her…" Well, if you can't beat them, join them, ne?

That made them both laugh, that's good. I don't like them being miserable; even if Ren acts that way most of the time, I know he isn't really. He doesn't seem to be flirting with Hao or me either, which is good. I think he finally understands just how much we love each other, and that he isn't going to get anywhere. Either that, or my snapping at him made him realise our friendship is more important, course, it could be bother of the above…Yoh, shut up already…

--

First note, any of the spellings, like for Ren's attack, don't kill me if they're wrong, I'm trusting a website, which I'm hoping is right.

Next, thanks for the reviews, though I didn't get as many as I'd hoped I would, so please, please review, my will to write this fic is really waning at the minute, so sorry if the chapter is a little on the short side.

I'll try to get the next chapter up in the next couple of weeks, but it is really busy at the moment, so no promises, it may well be a week or two after Christmas.

Once again, please review! Thanks again and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Ja minna!


	8. Chapter 8

What a nightmare that was, something tells me this isn't going to be the end of it though, Anna let us go too easily. I wonder what they're planning? I don't expect I'll like it, whatever it is. Even if her threats and yelling don't really frighten me like they used to, it doesn't mean she can't make things difficult for us. Anna is definitely not happy with the idea of letting me go, though I don't see what it matters if I don't love her. It isn't as if I'd have much of a chance at becoming Shaman King in a fair fight against Hao either, which is what she wants me for. It's really disheartening that I can't trust my 'friends' with niisan, that they hate him and that they couldn't ever accept how much we love each other. My family will be much worse than them too; they're so blinded with hatred and shame. They won't like me even talking to him; the fact that we're in a relationship really isn't something I wanted them to find out, certainly not by Anna catching us lip-locked. I wonder what the consequences of that will be? Not that I really want to know. Right now I just want to curl up in bed with Hao and forget all about it, today wasn't supposed to be ruined.

Still, almost back now and the party was really nice, I still can't believe that Ren was such a good sport about it, but I'm definitely glad that he made the effort for me. After the annoying start, it really had been a good day, until Anna showed up. Must stop thinking about the bad stuff and just think of the good stuff. Like going to sleep, I'm tired after the party and drained after the 'chat' after the fight. Can't they see Hao isn't going to do anything wrong? Can't they believe that I wouldn't be helping him if things were the same? Now I'm thinking of unpleasant things again…really must stop.

"Yoh, problem." Problem? Hao doesn't have problems does he?

Oh…yeah, problem is right. Seems the family is here, so much for going to sleep…

"Yoh, step away from Hao." Obaasan always sounds so strict, but that doesn't mean I'm going to listen.

"No. I'm staying with niisan."

"Yoh!"

"Things aren't the same, can't any of you see that?!"

"Yoh is fine with me, at least he's happy now." Hao is struggling not to do anything; he really hates me being upset.

"After everything you've done, do you really expect us to believe that? Your only interest in Yoh is to take his power." Chichioya couldn't be more wrong.

"Was. As Yoh said, things have changed. You'd be dead by now otherwise." Oh dear, niisan is getting annoyed, again…

"Not likely, after 1000 years of trouble." Ojisan is at it as well now. The only one to stay quiet is Tamao.

"You caused half of this in the first place!" Oh yeah, Hao's right, I almost forgot about what they did.

"Don't be so foolish!"

"He isn't. Hao has every right to be angry and so do I. You may not understand, but your actions back then caused both of us a lot of trouble." Wow, I'm surprised I sounded so calm.

"Yoh?" Ahh, chichioya's worried that I remember…

"Yes, I know exactly what you did."

"Yoh!" Oh joy, Anna is here, and she cut the conversation short. They won't stay guilty for long; they'll be getting haughty again.

"Can't you take a hint? Stupid bitch." Oh my…I can't believe Ren said that to Anna…

"What did you say?!"

"You're deaf as well as stupid?"

"Mo ii, ne?" I don't need them killing each other on top of everything else…

This is such a headache, and I have the feeling that it's going to get much worse. Anna is out for Hao's head on a platter and I have no doubt she's going to use what she saw to aid with that. I can't believe everyone is here, everyone is going to find out about us and they're going to hate us even more.

"It isn't enough Yoh, you're my fiancé, how could you just leave me?" Anna is pretending to be upset? It's so melodramatic; surely no one is going to believe that? Oh, wait, Tamao and Pirika are here, maybe someone will.

"Anna, cut the crap. The only thing you want is your own way and I couldn't give it to you even if I wanted to. We don't love each other, so what does it matter?" I'm going to regret saying that, I walked right into that.

"And you love him?! How could you leave me for him?!"

Yep, definitely walked into that one…

"What do you mean Anna?" Trust Manta to ask…

"None of your business shrimp, keep out of it." Thanks for trying Ren, but I don't think it's going to help.

"Anna?" She's certainly going to answer chichioya, joy…

It isn't that I'm embarrassed about it, I really do love Hao and I know he loves me too. The problems the others will cause us however, is what bothers me. All of Hao's 'groupies' accepted our relationship without question and Ren was really good about it too, but I can already tell the others aren't going to accept it.

"Hao and Yoh are screwing each other." That sounded awful, her tone was horrible as well as the wording.

"What? Is that true Yoh?" Why does Horo Horo care?

"It's my business whether it is or not." I think I'm beginning to lose my temper as well as Hao and Ren.

"Yoh how could you? Did you know Ren? How can you stand with them?" Lyserg…

"Yoh already said, it's nothing to do with you either way." Well, Ren was more polite than I expected.

"Ren?" Oh, Jun is here too?

"I stand by Yoh, neesan."

"Then it is true… You really love him Yoh?"

"Yes." I won't avoid that question, it will upset Hao if I do and I don't want to hurt him.

"And Hao, you really love Yoh?"

"Completely." No hesitation from Hao either, I half expected him to say something to keep me out of trouble.

"Then I wish you both the best, and thank you for saving Ren, Hao, he means a lot to me." Should have known Jun would be good about this, after all, if Ren is sticking with me, she doesn't really want to argue with me.

"Jun?!" Anna's pissed off again…her voice really is painful.

"It's Yoh's life. After everything he's done for everyone you should all trust him a little more. It's clear things aren't the same, or he would have killed that group and not saved Ren. I truly believe this is for the best."

"Jun…" That's so nice of her… I'm more glad I met the Tao family now, because Jun and Ren are both very good friends.

Hao is taken aback by the comment to, though he did manage to nod his appreciation for the comment. They always say things about him, so he's used to it, but he doesn't like it being done to me. Niisan is pretty protective of me, but it's nice, it makes me feel loved when I need it most.

"Fools. Hao cannot be trusted." O-no, forget it, Yohmei is really getting annoying. I'm not going to call him by status anymore, not after what he did, and the way he's treating us. I'd rather disown them all and stay happy with Hao anyway.

"You're the fool Yohmei, you can't see past your own hatred. Did any of you idiots ever take a moment to understand why Hao chose what he did? Whether you like it or not, I am staying with Hao."

"Yoh." Mikihisa, he's just as bad as Yohmei, I'm surprised Kino hasn't started on a rampage along with Anna yet.

"You have any idea how much it hurt? I was so close to breaking…" Barely a whisper, but I know they all heard it, heard the pain in my voice.

Hao took a step closer, but thought better of it, I know he wants to comfort me, to take the pain away, but we both know that it will cause more grief if he does. Knowing that he wants to be there for me is enough though, and really, it doesn't hurt so much anymore, Hao saved me from that.

"Yoh-dono is happy with them, they take good care of him. Hao-dono has most definitely changed and no one is going to die because of them. Please stop hurting Yoh-dono?" I can't believe Amidamaru is sticking up for me as well, I expected him to stay out of this since they're his friends too.

"Yoh cannot stay with Hao. The risk is far too great, Hao must be stopped." There's Kino's input, I was waiting for something, not as cruel as I expected either, thankfully.

"I am staying with Hao. If I'd known this would happen I would have gone with him in the first place. If I'd known what they were going to do to me…"

"What do you mean Yoh?" Well, Faust doesn't sound angry with me at least…

"I actually met Hao a long time ago, but I forgot all about it because they…"

"Enough Yoh, don't upset yourself." Hao sounds upset too, but then; he blames himself for giving me the choice, rather than just taking me.

"Leave Yoh and Hao alone already. Just accept that things are happening the way they are, whether you like it or not." Ren is getting annoyed again, probably because I'm getting upset about this.

"You have two choices Yoh, return home, or die along with Hao." Ouch, that was cold; Yohmei really isn't very nice.

"I already told you, I'm staying with niisan. I don't think you'll find killing either of us particularly easy though." I sound almost stupidly stubborn; I just keep repeating the same sentence.

They actually intend to fight? Wow… They must have really lost the plot, or they've become arrogant. Wait; with the Asakura name being the best, I expect they already were. Certainly they're not really known for being modest. Slave drivers is more like it, which is why I always rebelled and pretended I was useless, of course, after they were through with me, I was. I don't really want to fight them, even if I do want to disown them; they're still my family after all. Still, I have to put myself first this time, if they want a fight, they'll get one.

"Hey!" Huh? Isn't that Sion? Why is Team Royale here? They don't want to try for 'pay back', do they?

"Kisama…" Guess Ren isn't too pleased with seeing them.

"Hao, let us join your group, I accept my defeat to you, and your superiority."

Okay, that was unexpected… The guy was so egotistical, yet now he's practically ready to beg on hands and knees to be taken in. The three of them seem sincere, that's the strangest part of it. What has changed their minds so completely and so suddenly? I wonder what Hao intends to do, Ren certainly won't approve, but Hao isn't one to bend to another's will, not so lightly. He's the empathic one, so he should have the best idea of their intentions, though I do seem to be pretty good and reading people myself.

"No way, absolutely no way!" Typical expected response from Ren, though Sion doesn't seem remotely bothered, he's waiting for Hao's answer.

"What do you think Yoh?" Huh? Why is Hao asking me?

"Well, they seem sincere enough, but it's up to you what you decide." I'm not one to refuse anyone, everyone knows that.

"Why ask Yoh? He never says no." See, everyone knows, well, Ren's proved he does anyway.

"Yoh's opinion matters to me, besides which, I'm not complaining about that trait, it meant he gave me a second chance." True, were I like the others I wouldn't have listened to him, even if I did miss him.

"You're both too soft…honto ne baka na…"

"Yes or no?" Why is Hao so intent on me deciding?

"It's your group, and you're the empathic one, why ask me?" I don't want to say yes and have Ren annoyed with me…

"Because you want to say yes, because it's your nature, but at the same time you don't, because you're worried about Ren. I'm interested to see what you'll choose."

"That's mean Hao." He shouldn't be so cruel to me, either way I have to upset someone.

"Please Yoh-kun? Let us join?" Now I'm being begged by Samantha, that's not fair…

"Yeah, Ren won't mind after a while, I'll make sure of it." Wow, Karina's flirting with Ren, that's worrying… More worrying, Ren is actually blushing slighting. Jun is half amused and half annoyed, older siblings are always protective.

"You always give everyone a fair chance, I always thought that was weakness, but seeing the loyalty those questionable few show you, I can see that isn't true. Give us a chance to change too, let us see the world in another light?" Okay, I must admit Sion is pretty convincing, I do believe him, and it wouldn't be the first time I've changed someone's mind. I can't refuse them, and Ren always calms down and accepts my decisions anyway, even if he does give me a little grief first.

"Enough of this nonsense! Yoh, you're coming home, now!" Oh yeah, Anna is still here, isn't she?

"We will kill you to keep Hao from you, we have to." Miki actually sounds upset…

"There is no way you're hurting Yoh-sama!" Macchi! So Hanagumi have decided to join in the 'fun'.

"Right, we won't let you hurt Yoh-sama or Hao-sama. Got it?" Typical Kanna.

"Mari won't allow it either." She's still talking in third-person…

Well, looks like Hanagumi is up for a fight, the rest of the Asakura's and my 'friends' are as well, still, I don't think I want to. It isn't as though they can win; they must know that, so why won't they just walk away?

"Team Royale will stand in your path also. We can see that they are worth protecting, even if you fools cannot." Sion is stepping in as well? I don't understand why.

"You're all over-reacting. Can't you see things have changed? I wouldn't help Hao if he was still a threat, can't you see that? Please, just stop this?" I really don't want a fight.

"Yoh-kun, best of luck. I can see you feel the same about each other as Eliza and I, and I trust you regardless, so I'll leave you with good wishes." Faust…

"Arigato Faust."

"Yeah, you've never given us a reason to doubt you." Ryu is going to trust me too…I'm glad.

"Don't forget about me! I'm still your best friend, right Yoh-kun?" Manta…

"Right."

"I believe in you too…" Tamao?

"I…arigato minna. I promise, it's safe for me to be here, to be with niisan."

"Unbelievable…Idiots! This is Hao we're talking about here!" Why must Anna keep screeching?

"Anna, your jealousy really is disgusting. Just shut up and leave." Go Jun…

"We'll leave for now, but we will stop this, unholy unity." I'm really not very keen on Yohmei…

"Please Yoh, come home before it's too late? Just think about it? Think about us?" Miki…talk about emotional blackmail!

"Enough. Leave Yoh alone. You're the one's using him, not me. Now go away!" I didn't think Hao would be too happy about that.

They're going at least, the nightmare is over for now.

"Ne, Yoh-kun?" Huh? What do Faust, Manta and Ryu want?

"Ano…nan desu ka?"

"Happy birthday, even if they did spoil it a little. Happy birthday to you too Hao, take good care of Yoh!"

A genuine smile from Hao, that's a nice surprise. "Thanks, and I will, Yoh means a lot to me. As for Team Royale, Yoh and I both agree that you can join."

"Thanks!" Well, they're happy at least, maybe today is turning out okay after all.

"Come on Yoh, time to get some sleep." Hao is right, I am tired, sleep is exactly what I need.

"O-yasumi nasai minna."

Well, what a day today has been, most of it good though, thankfully. I'm so glad most of them are okay with this, that's definitely a nice present. Still, curling up in bed with Hao is just prefect, I am most definitely going to sleep well, though we may not go to sleep for a little while yet, I think some one-on-one time is needed first. It certainly would make a nice present for us both…

--

Thanks Shaami, Kiwee and haolover0102 for the reviews! (Still need more to make me happy though...) Anyway, glad you're enjoying the fic, and I hope this chapter didn't disappoint.

I'll try not to take too long with the next update, but I'm a bit short of ideas, so it probably will be a while. Sorry for the delay in advance.

Anyway, please review! Hope it was okay for everyone, despite the bashing of certain characters, but then, I expect that'll continue. Anyway… Ja ne minna!


	9. Chapter 9

Everything is dark; no one is here, wherever here is. I think I must be dreaming, I can't think of any other reasonable explanation for it. I don't like the atmosphere in this place at all. I wonder if…no, I don't think that could be right. I don't think they… Okay, what was that noise? I wonder if I have all my normal abilities in this dream, or whatever it is? I hope so, because that sounded really big and really scary. Oh-oh, the really big scary thing is coming this way…I don't want to get eaten…

It's a dinosaur, a really, huge lizard-type thing! Its mouth is huge; let alone the rest of it! I'm going to get eaten in one, easy mouthful. No, I won't even fill its mouth, it won't even need to chew, I'll go down whole easily. It looks really angry and really hungry.

"Yoh! Come with me, I'll keep you safe." Anna? Oh my god! What is she wearing? Or maybe I should say, not wearing… That's beyond terrifying and I feel ill now too. Still, I have to make a choice, would I rather go with Anna in lingerie or get eaten by a prehistoric monster?

Ancient monster…isn't that what they think of Hao? Is this a pseudonym? They're trying to get me to choose them over Hao by fooling me into believing it isn't him, by making me see the pseudonym of how they see him. So I was right then, this is their doing. Well I'm not going to believe it and frankly, even if I'm wrong, I think I'd rather fair with the dinosaur then have to see much more of Anna in her underwear. I really do think I'm going to be sick before too much longer. Nasty, nasty girl…I don't swing that way! Or maybe I do and I just can't stand her, who knows? I think I must not like girls that way though, I don't think it would make me feel so sick otherwise.

"I'll take my chances Anna. Sorry, but you really are making me feel nauseous."

"What?! How dare you?! I'm your fiancée!"

"Take the hint itako, Yoh is mine." Yay, my Hao is here!

"Go away! He isn't yours!"

"Anna, listen, please? I don't love you and I can't beat Hao in a fair fight, so I can't be Shaman King either. I'm not any good to you Anna; so just let me be happy for a change, please? I really am happy with Hao and the others, please stop making things difficult." I don't know what else I can do, but I can't really see her listening to me no matter what I do. Anna is very persistent, I'll give her that much.

"Whether you like it or not itako, we are in love with each other, this isn't a game. I promised I'd try not to kill anyone wherever possible, but if you continue to hurt him, I will kill you." I love being held by Hao, it's such a great feeling being in the arms of the person you love, he's so sweet too, even if he is threatening to kill her…though to be honest, I'm not sure that I'd really care if he did.

"Yoh, Hao." Okaasan?

"Keiko." Hao is respectful towards okaasan? I didn't know he got along with any of the Asakura's.

"Hao, you promise me you're not going to harm Yoh?"

"Yes Keiko. I promise I have no intention of hurting Yoh in any way."

"And Yoh, you're sure Hao isn't going to cause any trouble?"

"Hai okaasan."

"Very well. Behave yourselves boys, and even though I'll no doubt be in trouble for saying it, I am glad the two of you are back together again, I never wanted my boys to fight each other."

"Arigato Keiko." I'm surprised; Hao actually seems relieved to have her blessing. Of course, it's surprising she gave it, especially so easily. It's nice to know she trusts us to at least tell her the truth though.

"Anna, leave them be. Your engagement to Yoh is broken, you don't have my blessing."

Wow, go mum! "Sank you okaasan." I'm not in any way tied to Anna any more!

"You're welcome. Oh, and happy birthday to you both, even though it may well be over already. Good night boys."

Well, they're gone and so is the oppressive darkness, this field and lake are much nicer. Oh, hey, Hao is still here! That's good, I want to celebrate, I'm so hyperactive now. No more Anna! Well, no more being engaged to the nasty itako anyway. Yay! Hey, why is Hao laughing at me?

"You're acting like a little kid who's just found out it's Christmas." Well I guess that answers that question.

"Do excuse me for being excited by the fact mum officially broke up my engagement! She can't screech at me saying 'you're my fiancé' anymore!"

"Hn, that is rather annoying. Seems you're all mine now, ne?"

"Hai! Sugoi na ne?"

"Very. Now, shut up and come here, I want to make better use of your mouth."

"You can't say things like that!"

"I just did, didn't I? Come give your gorgeous lover a nice long kiss."

"So vain…but I suppose I'll humour you this once."

So nice…every touch makes my body tingle. Strange that everything can feel so real when really, this is all just a rather odd, shared dream. Ah well, no harm in making the most of it anyway is there? I do love spending time with Hao, he always makes me feel special and takes the time to do everything properly, that's how I know he really loves me, he wouldn't bother otherwise. Mostly we just kiss, content enough to simply be near each other, and they say kissing someone is very hard to do if you don't love the other person.

What was that noise? Hanagumi? Must be morning already. Ahh, I was really enjoying myself too. I don't want to wake up yet. I don't think I have a choice in the matter though. Ouch, no, Macchi definitely isn't giving me a choice. Did she really have to jump on me?

"Yoh-sama sasa!" Macchi shouldn't be so loud while others are trying to sleep…

"Hai, hai…" I want to sleep though.

"Give up the idea of sleeping any longer, she won't let you. Make it easier on all of us and just get up." Even Hao won't let me stay in bed, no fair.

"I'm up, I'm up. Though I'm not happy about it."

Okay, I didn't expect a make-out session, I expected him to scold me. Still, I'm not complaining…

"Happier to be up yet?" He did that to stop me complaining?

"No." If I can get more, I will. Hao really is a very good kisser, so he's quite addictive.

"Don't push it ototo. Up now, we have things to do."

Oh yeah, Team Royale are with us now, everything has to be explained and the rules set out. Plus, it might be a good idea to make sure Ren and Sion aren't trying to kill each other. Though maybe Ren will be too busy to fight with Sion, if Karina has her way that is. I actually hope she does, I think it would make Ren would loosen-up, and that can't be a bad thing. He's far too up-tight all the time, always getting 'angry' over everything because of his pride. Maybe he just needs to get laid. I sound like Horo Horo or Ryu, or something; I don't think that's a good thing. Anyway, I'd better hurry up; I'm getting death glares.

--

After today's events, I've decided one thing; I rely too much on my shaman abilities, or rather, Amidamaru's skills, and not enough on myself. I might go and ask Ryu for some help, after all, he was fighting using his own strength well before he became a shaman, so he might be able to give me a few pointers. There is someone else I can ask for help too, though I'd just better hope no one else finds out. I think I'm in for a lot of hard work, still, if it helps me to become better, then it's definitely well worth it. It will mean I won't get to see so much of Hao, since we'll both be busy, but it will help me be a little less bored all day.

"Yoh…" Okay, voice belongs to…ah, that's it, Horo Horo.

"Ya." Not exactly expressive, but I don't know what he's here for.

"Hi. Look, I just wanted to explain, that is…I don't hate you, and I'm not angry, but… Well, we've always had different goals, right? So, I mean, we can be on different teams and still be friends, right?"

That was long winded, but I appreciate the effort. "Of course. It was the same before after all."

"Right. Sorry if I, um, upset you, it was, kind of a shock, you know? I needed some time to think. I'm not such a blind loyalist as those two and not so bright as Ren…though don't tell him I said that…"

"I won't, he wouldn't be able to fit through any doors, which would be no good to us."

Its nice joking and laughing with him like before, I almost forgot why we were all friends; thankfully all this trouble has reminded me. Sometimes you needed to be reminded of what you have and how lucky you are to have it.

"Thanks Yoh, I was pretty worried, you've really changed, even though we never noticed, I wasn't sure if you'd…"

"We're friends, and even if I am different, that doesn't mean everything is different. People should change for the better, not make things worse."

"You're right, I guess so anyway…maybe there really is something in that head yours after all. Later Yoh!"

Well that was rude…do they really think my head is empty? I know he was joking, but knowing Horo Horo, he probably does, or did. Oh well, never mind. He's one less to worry about at least, just Lyserg and Chocolove left, not including my family, or Anna, of course. Well, Tamao and okaasan are okay with everything; it's just the other three, and Anna…Still, things are definitely getting better, which is all I can ask for.

You know, I'm not so sure whether I want to do all that hard work or not, it's not that I'm being lazy, I'm just not sure that knowing things like that would really benefit me. Sure, it isn't a bad thing to know how to protect yourself, but doesn't that get abused too much when someone realises just how well they can protect themselves, or rather, just how much they could harm others should the 'need' arise. I don't think I'm one to abuse power, but still, I don't think I like the idea that others could find me threatening. I like to get along with everyone; I don't want people to be afraid of me. Maybe I shouldn't learn anything, after all, I am a shaman, so is it really so wrong to rely on something which is just a part of who I am? I guess I need to think about the pros and cons of this a little more if I want to make the right decision.

I guess I really do think too much, still, it's better than really being the airhead so many people wrongly assume I am. Maybe I do like to take things easy sometimes or wish for things to be how I want them to be, but everyone does, it's normal. To be honest, sometimes I think these things are needed to keep a person sane. Without hopes and dreams, without having a rest every now and then, things become pretty dismal.

This whole situation has been problematic, but if I'm completely honest to myself, it hasn't really affected me. I say I'm glad or not with the way some has accepted it or not, but really, I haven't been worried, and I haven't really been all that relieved by so many people accepting us. Shouldn't I be more glad about them standing by me? Why do I feel so completely blank about all of this? Have I really changed so much? Did I really distance myself from them so much, that now I don't care where they stand? Is it wrong for me to only feel relief because it's less trouble for Hao and I? I'm not sure anymore… A few years ago, I don't think I would have approved, but a few years ago, I was still believing things that just aren't true, I wasn't able to really be myself, just the façade I had made for their benefit. Things are different now, so I have to stop comparing now to then. I am glad for everyone, I really am, just not as much as the false Yoh would have been, that doesn't make it wrong, just different. Different is fine with me, it's what I wanted, what I need, what we need to find our happiness. Real Yoh is much better anyway, but then, I'm bound to think that, aren't I?

--

Bit of a short chapter, I know. I needed filler, and the chance to explain, Horo doesn't hate Yoh, he just didn't know how to handle the situation. Plus, I needed three of the group to go against Hoshigumi, so he couldn't go with Yoh.

Thanks for the reviews, I appreciate the more critical review 'random reviewer', and welcome back Fisou! I thought you'd got lost or something, but here you are safe and sound, lol.

I'll try to be good and update again soon, but I still need to figure out what I'm doing. Somehow I managed to lose all my ideas…not clever… Anyway, glad you all enjoyed the last chapter; hope you like this one too. Please review, as always. Ja ne minna!


	10. Chapter 10

Another new day, but for whatever reason, today has an ominous feel about it. Something bad is in the air, I don't know what, only that I don't like it. I wonder what's in store, though really, I don't think I want to know. Someone has something nasty in mind, and I can't help but assume that it's my family, with intents of carrying out their threat. Do they honestly mean to take my life, just because I'm with Hao? Can't they trust in me, even a little? Is it really so hard to see that we love each other? It hurts that my own family don't trust me, but at the same time, I couldn't care less, it's very confusing. I seem to be a walking contradiction, I don't know whether that's a good or bad thing, or if it's healthy…

Anyway, what was I thinking about? Oh yeah, something's wrong… Should I talk to Hao about it? No, he probably knows already, and I don't need to bother him with more things to worry about either. Hao has too much to take care of without me running scared to him. Whatever is going to happen, I can take care of it myself, I'm a much better shaman then I used to be, all I need to do is trust in my own abilities and instincts and everything will be just fine. I don't need to worry about it, and I don't need to bother Hao with it. Besides, how much could they possibly do while I'm here? They're not stupid enough to take us all on, they know they're outnumbered and out skilled, so it'll all work out fine.

I wonder if anything's planned for today or not? I hope I'm not going to be left to die of boredom again. It really isn't any fun at all; I don't like being left all alone with nothing to do. Not that there's really much I could do about it. I mean, I could go and see Manta and the others, but I don't want to see Anna, certainly not so soon. She'll be really angry okaasan broke the engagement and I really don't feel like dealing with the pissed off itako any time in the near future. But then, I've never really appreciated dealing with Anna, she's always angry about something. I swear there's something seriously wrong with that girl. I guess it isn't my problem anymore though, not that I'm complaining. It's nice not having to worry about her, or rather, her flying off the handle.

I wonder if the tournament will actually end properly this time, Hao said that the Great Spirit is known for being, difficult, when it wants to be. Also, I can't help but wonder who our final opponents will be, I think it's going to be Lyserg, Horo Horo and Chocolove, sure, there are a few teams better than them, but for what ever reason, I really think that they're going to be the ones to stand in the way. It's disappointing to think that they will no doubt go to great lengths in an attempt to stop us, I mean, really, don't they want a better world to live in? I don't like everyone thinking so badly of our intentions; it isn't fair to judge us so harshly. Still, the future will be done by and those in generations to come will be the ones with the rights to judge our actions of today, for it will be their lives that are bound by them. None can know the future until it becomes the present in which they exist, but I'm sure everything will work out. I trust Hao to make things right for us, that's all I can do.

I suppose I should decide what I'm doing, rather than laying here thinking about nothing particularly important. Still, I wonder why Hao didn't stay; he normally waits until I wake up. Maybe he was bored, or just needed to get on with things, we didn't really do much yesterday. Whatever the reason, it can't be anything to worry about, or Hao would have woken me. My concentration is wandering yet again, maybe everyone isn't totally wrong about me after all… Right, enough thinking too much, get up, get ready and find Hao to find out if there's anything major going on today. That way, I can find out anything I need to do and then I can decide what to do, otherwise I'm just going to stay here talking to myself. I'm babbling again, aren't it? Oh well, I suppose some habits do linger; it's just something I'll have to deal with.

"Ne, niisan." Wow, I've amazed even myself with my simplicity.

"Morning Yoh. Something wrong?" Am I bothering him?

"No, I just wondered if there was anything I needed to know. Sorry if I'm interrupting."

"Of course you're not, sorry if I was too blunt. To answer your question, no, there isn't anything you need to do today, but I'll be busy all day, so you'll need to keep yourself entertained. Okay?"

"Yeah. Later." I really can't wait until this tournament is over; I want more of his time again. I really miss when we got to spend so much time together. I guess I'm just being selfish though.

"Yoh. I'll see you at the lake later, okay?"

"No, no, you don't have to, it's fine, really." I didn't mean to make him feel guilty.

I really, really do love the feeling he gives me when he kisses me. "I know you don't like us being apart, but it can't be helped. I will make time for you though, so don't get upset. I'll see you when the stars come up, just wait that long."

"Thanks Hao, but really, I have to learn that I can't have your attention 24/7, so don't worry about it, I'll be okay."

"I love you. Now, run along, and don't stand me up later."

He's too sweet. I'm so glad he came back to me. He's really good to me, even if I do seem to be acting like a spoilt brat; I really am so very lucky to have him. Enough mushy thoughts for the moment, I need to find something to do, before I get completely unmotivated…

What was that? Did the ground just shake? We're not going to get an earthquake here are we? No, this isn't natural…but what is it? The ground is going to split, I'd better move out of the way, and quickly. Okay, is that an Oni? Great…why me?

"Amidamaru!"

"Be careful Yoh-dono, the ground could collapse at any time."

"Wakatte. Let's finish this quickly."

Well, as soon as I figure out how to defeat it anyway. I think there's a trick to elemental Oni's, guess I should have listened to them...

"Ahh!" I nearly lost my head then…this thing really doesn't seem to like me. I wonder if…could this be their threat? I wouldn't put it past them; certainly Anna has created an Oni before…

"Gah! I've really got to concentrate on this fight, or I'm going to get myself killed..."

Normal attacks aren't working… How do I do this? I've got to win this, but how am I going to do it? I don't want to lose to this; I don't want to let Hao down. If I can't figure out how to defeat this though…

"What beats earth?" Why didn't I pay attention to my lessons? Oh yeah, because they made me stupid and lazy… This is all their fault! This isn't helping…

"Shit." I don't normally cuss, but there really isn't anything else to say, I'm cornered by a huge earth Oni, that I don't seem to be even remotely capable of harming…

"Water!" That's what wins, earth breaks up in water! And I just happen to be right next to a lake; all I have to do is knock it in. Should be easy enough to do with Amidamaru's help, maybe I'm not going to die after all. Right, lets give this a try.

"Yes! We rock!" No more Oni!

"That was close, good thinking Yoh-dono."

"It was pretty close huh? Don't tell Hao, he'll be disappointed with me."

"Of course not Yoh-dono."

"Arigato!"

Right, now what am I doing? I don't really think I want to stay here anymore. Maybe I'll go into the woods instead, that might be more peaceful…I hope. I mean, they'll give up for a while at least, right? I guess I'll just have to keep my guard up in case; they can be really stubborn, especially when it comes to Hao. They're so mean, making our lives so difficult. Maybe if they'd actually tried being nice to him, things would have turned out differently. A nice, friendly family would have done him good, it might have taken some of that hatred away; maybe it would have made him understand sooner that his actions were wrong. I suppose its all just conjecture though, we can't know what could have been, only what was. I have always been an optimist though.

Well, the woods seem to be nicer, but I think I'll sit down on a tree branch, just to be sure, not that I'm paranoid…much. It isn't as if having the ground fall out from under one's feet is particularly pleasant though, I think I have the right to be a little unsettled. But then, if I believe that, why am I trying to justify my actions to myself? I guess I'm just used to people arguing with me, or putting me down… Anyway, enough thinking for now, I need to relax after that, not so pleasant event.

Oh, you've got to be kidding me? Now I'm being attacked by leaf spirits! I knew this was going to be a bad day, but still, isn't this just a little OTT? I can't even be bothered to fight these though; I'm just going to use one of the secrets Hao unlocked instead. There isn't really much point in making things more difficult than need be, and to be honest, I am pretty tired after fighting the Oni, so it might not be exactly safe to fight so many spirits all at once either. Besides, what's the point in learning all these new skills if I'm never going to use them?

Right, that was easy, no more swarms of evil leaf spirits, which were undoubtedly a gift from Yohmei. So in theory, Miki and Kino are the only ones left, I have no idea what to expect from them. Well, actually, I have a pretty good idea what to expect from him, it's just her. Kino isn't very nice either, so I'm not sure I want to know, I swear she's a sadist…I guess that's where Anna gets it. Kino certainly seems to have trained Anna in her image. Lucky us…

I think I'll leave the woods, so many trees means way too many leaf spirits. Where can I go now though? I know, I'll go and see what Ren's doing, should I get attacked again, at least I'll have help and someone's company wouldn't go amiss either. I guess I'm far too used to having people around, I kind of miss it now I don't have it. Not that I don't appreciate having time to myself, I really do like having some freedom for a change, I'm just not used to it, so I don't know what to do with it, if that makes any sense…I think I'm just going to confuse myself if I don't shut up.

"Ne, Ren? Ahh!! Gomen!" Oh my…what…I did NOT want to see that! I think I'm traumatised…

"Gomen Yoh, even if you are the one who walked in on us. What did you want?"

"Uh, nothing, sorry, uh, don't worry about it… Ano…I think I'll go now…"

"Yoh…"

"I'm glad for you, I just got a bit of a shock is all. I'll see you later."

"Sure. Knock next time or something, ne?"

I can't do much more than nod, before swiftly leaving. I really feel quite ill now, and I can't stop shuddering. I really didn't want to walk in on that, I mean, walking in on anyone in that kind of situation is bad, but Ren just seems to be worse for whatever reason. I know it isn't that I'm jealous, maybe it's just because it's not something I'd expect, or more likely because of what exactly I saw. I don't know whether I should be worried that girls make me feel so sick…Well, not generally, just in 'those' sort of situations… I don't think it's wrong not to want to see Ren and Karina 'making-out', being as polite and non-descript as possible, just because I don't want to think about it. That was so horrible…must not throw-up… I hope I didn't offend Ren, I'm not going back to check though, not until I feel better, or I'll make things worse. I just want to forget that happened. I don't think wishful thinking will make that happen though, pity. I'm back to square one now though, what am I to do? There aren't many places I can go and I have to be careful what I do anyway with all these things happening.

"Something wrong Yoh?" Sion's talking to me? That's unusual, he normally only talks to his team or Hao.

"No, not really." I don't really feel like showing any enthusiasm right now; I can't even be bothered to turn around.

"Walked in on Karina and the Chinese idiot?"

"Ren isn't an idiot."

"He almost lost didn't he?"

"Hn… Is there something you wanted?"

"Not really. I'm a little bored and you looked as if you were too."

"Yeah, I am. Just trying to figure out what to do…"

"How about…"

Whatever Sion was going to say was cut short, the tremor far too prominent to ignore. I do hope it isn't more Oni's…please, please, don't make me fight any more of them.

"Ahh!!" Itai… Why did the ground fall out from under me? And what did I land on? It's painful whatever it is. This really isn't my day… Do they really hate me so much? I guess that's a stupid question.

Looks like I ended up falling in a cavern, covered crystal formations, said formations being what I landed on, they're really sharp. I guess this must be natural, but I wonder how it was formed? I'm a long way down and there are no walls near the hole I fell through, so it looks like I'll have to go exploring if I want to find a way out. Well, it's certainly a more interesting environment than what I'm used to, and it holds a lot of natural beauty. So long as I don't get attacked again, this could be quite fun. Otherwise it could be problematic, there isn't much room to manoeuvre and I'll have to be careful not to do anything that might cause the rocks to cave-in on me. Of course, if there isn't an exit anywhere I'll be in trouble, but hopefully that shouldn't be the case though. These places are usually formed by water, so there must be somewhere the river ran out to, I just have to find it. It can't be that difficult, right? Just follow the tunnel, water is pretty easy-going, it doesn't like doing difficult things, so everything should be straightforward enough, I hope.

This is a really long tunnel…come to think of it, I wonder why the floor, or ceiling, whichever it is, just fell down all of a sudden, well, I guess the tremor weakened it, but was the tremor natural, or was it deliberate? If it was deliberate, what am I likely to have to deal with? Am I going to drown down here or something? Wait, since when did I become a pessimist? I guess it's hard not to be at least a little bit pessimistic considering.

There are slight vibrations in the tunnel; someone or something else is down here. Please don't let it be the river, I don't want to drown, certainly not down here, where I could possibly never be found…I'm being a pessimist again, I'm meant to be optimistic. It's pretty hard to be positive though, if this place has been hidden away, as it seems to have been, anything down here isn't likely to be a good thing. Spirits and something else, I guess this is a joint effort between Kino and Mikihisa then. This could be very difficult. I'm worried that other 'feeling', is a barrier to block my abilities, getting out of this safely with my skills would be difficult, but facing spirits in a confined area without any shaman skills would be near impossible, though I suppose that is the idea.

"Yoh. This is your last chance to come home." Mikihisa, as I expected.

"Iie chichioya." I won't, not matter how much you beg. I love him too much.

"Yoh, please, I don't want to hurt you."

"You already did! I won't leave Hao, if you want to hate him so much, fine, waste your time and why not add yet another crime to your list while your at it? You already tried to murder one son and failed, so hey, why not try the other one too?" Wow, I shouted and was actually sarcastic, that wasn't like me at all…am I really that angry with them?

"Yoh…I am sorry, but we have to put an end to this. You will understand our choice, even if not while you live."

No, I will never understand why you are so incapable of putting faith in your own children, have I not proven myself to you? Is it so hard to see how much your actions hurt me? Do you have any comprehension of how awful it is to take the life of your own family? After all, you were all too aware you failed with Hao; I thought I had succeeded your will, and it tore me apart. Do you know what that feels like? How could you ask me to do that again? Even if the words have yet to be spoken, I know that's what you want me to do, I can see it all too clearly.

"Enough. Get on with it, I'm not standing here all day." Well, that annoyed him, I guess it was too unlike what they expect from me, oh well, it can't be helped, I really don't want to be stuck down here any longer than necessary. This isn't exactly much fun and Hao told me not to stand him up, so I can't be too long or I will, even if I don't mean to.

"If you truly wish to forfeit your life, so be it. We cannot allow this unholy unity to continue."

What can possibly be 'unholy' about love? It's one of the purest emotions there is. I can't help how I feel, neither of us can, it's just how things are, how things are supposed to be, that's the way love works, not through human-made arrangements. It doesn't matter, they don't know any better and aren't prepared to learn, so there is nothing I can do about it, all I can do is protect myself; I'll just have to hope for the best.

"Mo ii." Hao is here? Did Sion get him after I fell? I didn't expect any help.

"Leave us be Hao!" As if he'll listen to you Miki…

"And have you kill him with your cheap tricks? I don't think so." Hao, Ren, Hanagumi, Team Royale…do they think so little of me? Or did they come just because they care?

Hanagumi and Ren looked relieved, so they were worried, Team Royale just looked vaguely curious, and Hao already stated that he thought I'd end up dead without his presence. I'm sort of glad that they came, but more so, I feel hurt that they all assumed I couldn't do this by myself. I'm better than most of them, so why do they look down on me so much? Haven't I proved myself to them yet? This isn't fair…

I can't be bothered with this, Kino's barrier has been lowered and chichioya is busy arguing with Hao, so I think I'm going to carry on looking around down here, I don't feel like being babied by them, there isn't any need for it.

"Yoh! Where are you going?" Trust Ren to notice me leaving, he can be a real pain.

"Away from here." I'm surprised I managed to keep such a neutral tone, but I can't complain, it won't cause unwanted reactions.

I made sure to carry on walking before anyone had time to argue with me, I seem to be getting good at doing that. Still, it will save me the trouble of saying something I don't mean, which can't be a bad thing. I'm not usually one to get like this, but these last few days have been emotionally draining, so my temper is a little short, though I feel more like crying than anything else. I've been trying to stop crying for no good reason, but just lately that's been getting difficult, maybe it would be good for me if I did though, it may save me feeling so melancholy all the time.

I can see light, so I must be near the exit now; I wonder where it comes out? I'll get my answer soon enough though; I'm almost at the mouth of the cave now. Wow, what a view, this place is beautiful, I wonder where it is though, I've never seen it and I've been all around the village. Strange it could have been missed, it's quite expansive. Come to think of it, I can't see the Great Spirit anywhere and that isn't something easy to miss. Could I be somewhere else? I didn't walk very far though…

"Yoh, come on, let's go." Hao decided to follow me, did he?

"I'm not interested." I think I actually surprised him.

"Yoh?" Yeah, I definitely surprised him; he sounds a little upset too.

"Just leave me alone, all of you." My dear family and friends can give me some space; I don't want to be caught up in some stupid argument.

"Yoh, what-"

"Take a hint Hao! I don't need your help, I'm not interested in being babied, or harassed, so all of you just go away!" Really must stop shouting at people…I really think I just need to curl up and cry for a while.

"Yoh." Now chichioya is giving it a try…

"I am NOT in the mood for this. Just give me some space."

Hao isn't very good at taking no for an answer, but certainly I don't mind him having his arms wrapped around me, his soft breath against my ear. "Yoh, please come back, it isn't safe for any of us to be here. Just trust me on this."

"Hao…" I know I can't argue with him on this, he wouldn't have said it unless he was sure it was the case. I guess I'll have to go, whether I want anything to do with them right now or now.

"Whatever you're angry about, I'm sorry, but please, just come."

"Fine…"

I suppose I have no choice, even though I know they won't leave me alone for the rest of the day now. I didn't do this for attention, but they're going to give me it anyway, regardless of what I say. I just hope I can survive the experience; Macchi already looks ready to glomp me or something. I'll just have to hope for the best I suppose…

--

Carly-chan, you're back too! Welcome back and your review is fine, thanks.

To answer your question Shaami (even though it was rhetorical), you said disappointing 8 times.

Fisou, Yoh is just smart, he always gets everything right, haven't you noticed? As for Anna, I agree with Yoh and Shaami, it isn't a nice thing at all.

Thanks everyone for the reviews, they make me much happy.

I'm trying to get back into updating weekly again, though no promises, but if all goes to plan, the next chapter will be up next Friday/Saturday.

Anyway, hope everyone enjoyed the chapter; it was quite a long one for me. Please review! Ja!


	11. Chapter 11

Surprisingly, Hao whisked me away quite quickly yesterday, so I didn't have to deal with quite so many people, though Hao certainly did more than his fair share of babying. I can't really say I enjoyed the experience too much and I know Hao didn't either. He wanted to be doing other things and I just wanted to be treated normally, I don't people to be with me because they feel they have to be, they should only be there if they want to be. We just sat in silence the entire time, neither of us even able to enjoy the beautiful scenery. I almost regretted my decision, but I know it isn't his fault, it's because I feel so unbalanced. I was disappointed that he stayed so long, I really just wanted to go to bed, curl up and cry myself to sleep, but I can't cry in front of him, it would just make him worry needlessly and that wouldn't be fair.

Even today I'm still not alone, Hao decided to have Macchi baby-sit me until it's time for Team Royale's battle, which I have to go and watch. By then, Hao will have sorted everything out and will baby-sit me himself. Can't they understand that I don't want their attention? I just need some space, please? Why does this have to be so difficult? Can't I just go and deal with this myself? I appreciate their concern, but this is too much, I don't need people looking after me all the time.

It's really quite amazing how much I've changed recently, I know I used to be a lot more like this before, but it's still startling at how quickly I seem to be falling back into old ways. So many years of living one way and all of a sudden, it means nothing. My placid demeanour seems to be slipping away, and I have to admit, it frightens me. I don't know what kind of person I'm becoming, but I don't think I like it. Maybe I was better off with that crystal thing in me after all… I really have started being really pessimistic lately.

"Yoh-sama?" I suppose Macchi was expecting me to talk to her.

"I'm fine, and no, I don't want to do anything." I don't have the enthusiasm to pretend.

"Macchi leave, Mari wishes to speak with Yoh-sama." Huh? What does Mari want? Macchi actually left without even questioning anything, that's surprising.

"Yoh-sama, I understand. I tried to explain to Hao-sama, but he doesn't understand that you just need some time alone."

"Mari…" Not only does she really understand, she actually made the effort to speak normally for me. "Thanks for trying, I expect they'll give up soon, and even if they don't, I'll get to the point where it gets dealt with anyway."

"I would try to give you some time now, but I know Macchi won't stay away for long. She won't ignore Hao-sama's wishes and she cares for you. We all do, you know?"

"I know and I'm grateful, I just wish everyone would stop seeing me as some stupid, weak, frail little boy…"

"We don't see you like that, just, sometimes your compassion gets the best of you. We're afraid of others taking advantage of your kindness."

Really? Is that how it is? Maybe it's just you who sees it that way Mari; certainly Hao didn't give that impression at all. Ren should know better too… I don't understand where this sudden change has come from, why I'm suddenly not respected; why everyone seems to suddenly believe that I can't do anything…

Mari is gone and Macchi has come back, when did that happen? I seem to get lost in my thoughts, completely oblivious to everything else…is that why they worry? Whatever the answer is, it doesn't really matter, it doesn't change the fact that I can't stand how I'm being treated. I'm not exactly going to just jump up and down about being looked down on so much though. Being looked down on a little I could ignore, but not this, it's too much, too insulting.

Macchi keeps looking at me with a worried expression, but she's worried about talking to me, but then I was quite blunt with her last attempt. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want their pity, I just want to be left alone. Why are my protests to their smothering behaviour ignored? Why is it so difficult for an empath to understand what I need when Mari can see it perfectly? It's stupid, really, really stupid. I'm almost tempted to just leave, I know a few places I could stay until I got on my feet, one of which would probably let me stay permanently without question, but I couldn't just walk out on them and let everyone down, as thoroughly tempting as escape sounds right now. Really, how has everything changed so drastically in such a short amount of time? I do still love Hao, and I still do care about everyone else, so why does being with any of them seem to bother me so much? This is so very strange and most unsettling… I have little choice but to get on with things and deal with whatever comes my way as best as I can. If I don't want to leave them, or let them down, there really is nothing else I can do but stay and play things through.

"Yoh-sama, what have we done wrong?" Macchi really sounds worried, but also upset.

"Nothing. I'm the problem, not any of you."

Even though it's true, I don't expect she will believe me, she won't understand what I mean. It's hard to explain what's wrong with me when I don't really understand though. I really can't understand why Hao doesn't understand though, he should know better than anyone, so why does he seem to be so clueless? He can't help but feel such strong emotions, so why? More importantly, why do I persist in asking myself questions I can't answer? I'm going to drive myself crazy if I keep doing this…

I've been shipped off to watch Team Royale, though to be honest, I got the feeling that they just didn't want me there. I suppose I shouldn't think like that, but that's really how it seemed. It doesn't really make much sense why they'd want me gone, but certainly, there isn't any good reason for me to watch Team Royale either. Hao's excuse was to make sure they followed our rules, but we'd have found out if they didn't anyway, and he has never been one to baby-sit others. I wonder if this is because of how I've been recently? Well, I don't suppose it matters too much, if something really is going on, then I'll find out sooner or later. I don't think I'm going to be watching this match though, even if I am stuck here for the duration, my mind is over-working itself again.

"Yoh-kun!"

"Manta…"

"You keeping an eye on them?"

"Kind of, I guess."

"Are you okay Yoh-kun?"

"Aa. Tired, bored, nothing major."

"Anna is really angry about something, do you know what?"

"Hai. Okaasan broke off our engagement."

"Honto ne? You must be really glad."

"It's one less worry, yeah."

"I'd better go now, Ryu's waiting. It was nice seeing you Yoh-kun."

"Aa. Ja ne."

Wow, my enthusiasm is really waning; am I really that depressed? I don't really understand why I feel like this though; sure things have been difficult, but not enough to cause this. Maybe I really am just that pathetic and really do need everyone protecting me… No, I don't believe that at all. Something is definitely wrong, I just can't figure out what. I know better than to think that I'm just a fool who's having a nervous breakdown for no good reason.

I wonder why Manta and Ryu are here, it isn't as though they know either team, but then I suppose there isn't much for them to do if they're not taking part in the tournament. They shouldn't really have come here if they didn't want to take part… No, they may well have been planning to compete; it could be because of me that they didn't. Alternatively, they came here in the hopes that I would be here; I think that makes the most sense. Do I really make that much of a difference though? I suppose I must do, for them to make such efforts for me. I wonder if it was the same for Hao before everything went wrong? Well, he does have a lot of followers, but it isn't quite the same thing.

Thinking back to what was originally bothering me, Ren was talking to Hao, up until that point, he was going to have Macchi stay with me. What could Ren have said to change Hao's mind? More importantly, why did Ren want me gone? I don't think that it has anything to do with 'that', because he has Karina now, but that doesn't really help me with the answer. He's planning something though, that much is clear and whatever it is, its serious. Hao definitely looked concerned, but certainly swayable to whatever Ren wanted. I wonder if they wanted me gone because I wouldn't approve of their discussion? It's possible; Hao does have a habit of hiding facts from me if he doesn't think I'll like them. I wonder what it is though… I don't think asking him would be a good idea, if I'm wrong, he'll be quite offended, I'll just have to wait and see.

Well, I managed to make it through the day without driving myself crazy, now I just have to survive tonight. Hopefully it will be okay, it is just going to be Hao and me after all, and I'm not feeling quite as weepy as I did. Maybe I'll be able to sort things out with him, I know that I've been very, trying, these last few days. I hope he isn't angry with me, though I don't think he is, normally it's pretty easy to tell when Hao's angry with someone. Niisan is a little lacking when it comes to tact, with certain things anyway, he can be tactful if he tries, he just doesn't bother most of the time.

"Yoh?" Hao…is he worried about speaking to me? He never normally speaks so meekly.

"Ya niisan."

"You sound a little brighter. Feeling better?"

"A little."

"Yoh…what is wrong? I can't work it out."

"I don't know myself to be honest. My emotions just seem to be acting up. It isn't anything serious. Probably just too much stress or something."

"So long as you're okay, everything is okay here…"

"Hao? Is there something wrong? What were you and Ren talking about earlier?"

I know I decided not to ask, but, something is definitely bothering him. He isn't even looking at me anymore, the moment I asked he turned away. What could possibly be going on? I don't really think I can push him though, if he really doesn't want to talk about it, I won't make him. I'd better drop it. "Forget it. I shouldn't have asked."

"No, you have every right to ask, I just don't know how to answer…"

"Forget it, I don't want to make things more difficult for you, I was just worried."

"Lets just forget our troubles for tonight? I think we could both do with a break."

I can't disagree with that, I do want to just forget about everything, my poor head could do with a break. Knowing me, that isn't too likely to happen though, even when I'm 'enjoying' myself, my head still insists on thinking too much. I can't help it though; I'll just have to try to turn my head off or something, a little anyway.

I think I could fall asleep like this, all cuddled up under the stars, it's really relaxing. Hao was definitely right, I did need to just relax for a while; Hao seems quite relieved to have the opportunity to relax too. Still, I can't help but feel like I'm missing something really important, which is staying in the back of my head even now. I'm trying not to think about it though, I really am. It isn't easy to ignore though, but I am doing my best.

"Yoh, I really do love you, you know that, right?"

"Of course I do. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know…I suppose I'm just being paranoid, ne?"

"I don't believe that, it isn't like you at all. If you want to talk to me about anything Hao, you can."

"I know. Really, I don't think my worries are grounded, so I don't want to worry you. I guess we're both a little 'off' right now."

"Okay, but I am here for you any time you need me."

"Arigato ototo."

Wow, it really isn't like Hao to worry, certainly not when he isn't even sure he needs to. I wonder what's wrong to have him panicking like this. Unless he chooses to talk to me about it I'm not going to know anything, but that's his choice and I respect that. All I can do is be as supportive as possible; I have to do my best for him, well, for everyone, even if I don't particularly feel like it…

--

Pretty short compared to the last one, but it's just the way these things work out, hope you all enjoyed anyway. Plus, I did manage to keep to my self-appointed task, for this chapter anyway…

Thanks for the reviews everyone, and welcome back Kiwee and Russian Doll, nice to see people reappearing. Please review as always. Ja!


	12. Chapter 12

Time seems to have gone by very quickly; it's time for our last bout before the final already, well, in a few hours. Things have been a little better, I still feel a little depressed and anti-social, but Hao and I are still close. It would seem that night together brought us a better understanding of each other. I'm glad about that much; we both seem to need each other, just to relax with if not talking things through. He still hasn't told me anything about what's worrying him though and he hasn't stopped worrying, if anything, it's gradually become worse. It's strange, but there isn't really much I can do about it, still.

Hao is putting Ren through a practice session at the moment. He decided I didn't need any practice, not that I'm complaining, I feel pretty worn out, not that I know why. This new team, Shadow Blades, or something like that, has a really good reputation. They're in the top few ratings, behind us, of course. Had they been in the other group, we'd probably be facing them in the final instead; as it stands, it looks like my guess of our opponents was right.

They're apparently ninjas of some description, certainly their attire looks about right, if films are anything to go on anyway. Their spirits are less than standard too from what I've heard. They have a very high standard of teamwork, which is something the three of us seem to be somewhat lacking in, so that could cause a few problems. I'm not quite sure if all the rumours I've heard can be believed, but if they are all true, this team could prove to be a challenge.

Ren refuses to believe that they'll cause us any problems, but then, Team Royale shouldn't have done, though he seems to have dismissed that fact. Hao shares Ren's view, that Hoshigumi has nothing to worry about, but he made sure not to mention individual members, not that Ren seemed to notice. Hanagumi did, as well as myself, Macchi seemed about ready to mention the fact when Hao shot her a warning glare. Stressed Ren when we're due to have a Shaman Fight wouldn't really be a good idea; he's bad enough normally. I don't think the Shadow Blades are the type to taunt, so hopefully Ren will keep his temper and not do anything stupid. Knowing Ren, that's pretty doubtful, not that I'd say that to his face, he'd throw a fit if I did.

Ren seems to be improving, but Hao is still taking it very easy on him, at least, compared to what I have to deal with, but even then, I think he's holding back a lot. We haven't really trained since the crystal was removed though, since my real ability started coming back, so it should be a little better. I have been training by myself and certainly I have improved, but I haven't tested myself against niisan. Training has just been to keep myself occupied. I needed to do it to stay sane.

I'm not really too worried about the fight, but then, it isn't really my style to worry; 'nan to ko nare' pretty much makes that obvious. There isn't really any point in worrying about everything; all you can do is try your best with whatever comes your way in life. I think I'm persistent and smart enough to get through this okay and if I'm not, I've done my best. The team aren't like Sion's, they're very respectful and follow the rules, which is somewhat surprising since they're trained killers. They haven't seriously harmed anyone, so it should be okay win or lose, but it doesn't matter, because we won't lose.

I wonder what they're fighting for? It must be a good reason for them to be following the rules the way they are. They're not allowing any mistakes at all, not taking any chances in being disqualified. It's odd really, how can anyone be so strict and precise in everything they do? I suppose if the training and need is there…

"Yoh, are you okay? You seem worried." Do I? Sorry Hao.

"No, I'm fine. I was just trying to figure the other team out a little."

"You're too curious, their reasons don't matter to anyone but them." Trust Ren…

"And Hao was none of our business back then?" I actually got the better of him. Oh, too funny, Ren looks like a gold fish! Hao's laughing too, so I guess he thinks so as well.

"It's about time we got going." How did Hao know it had become so late already?

Well, I suppose I wasn't really being observant, I was too busy laughing, now that he's said, it is pretty obvious it's time to get going. Still, Ren does look really funny as a fish…having him glare at me as though he's about to throttle me on the other hand, isn't so funny. Oh well, it isn't as though he actually would try to throttle me…well, I don't think he would anyway… Uh, maybe I'll just stop laughing, after all, I don't really want him angry with me and having him annoyed for the fight wouldn't be a good idea, as I decided earlier.

Wow, it's a really big turn out today, nearly everyone is here. I know we're both popular groups, but I didn't really expect this much attention. I expect most people are hoping that we'll lose, though there are more and more people who are beginning to stop worrying about Hao, which is nice. After all, we're trying to improve things for all shamans, not just ourselves, so the more people who believe in that dream the better. A world for shamans isn't really much good without any shamans after all, it would be very strange.

As I thought the Shadow Blades are being quiet and respectful, there isn't any malice at all, which makes a nice change. Whatever they're fighting for is a pure wish. My problem is that I want everyone to have their dreams come true. All I can do is follow Hao's ideal and hope that it helps a lot of people at least get that little bit closer to achieving their dreams. I know that not everyone can have what they want and sometimes it's better if they don't, but there are a lot of people here who deserve the chance to win, to have their hopes and dreams fulfilled.

It's a pity that only one person can win, that everything comes down to one person, one will. Still, these are the rules we were given, these were the guidelines we trained to complete, so all everyone can do is try their best. The greatest will shall succeed all others, but hopefully, encompass them all as well. In that way, the job of Shaman King is fulfilled properly, by taking care of all needs, not just one.

"Before we begin, let us introduce ourselves. I am Mei of the Dias family. The girl to my left is Kaide, an Ariana. The boy to my right belong to the Hironta family, his name is Teran."

"I am Hao and my twin is Yoh, we are Asakura's, as I'm sure you know, the other is Ren of the Tao family."

"It shall be our pleasure to face you in battle. Let us fight with honour and prove our worth."

"Fine. May the best team win."

Well, that was different, but not unpleasantly so. It makes a change for a team to behave like that, to introduce themselves and leave the match open for both teams. Hao was pretty good about it, though he was certainly a little more competitive than Mei. Mei, Kaide and Teran all strike me as being uncompetitive, they're here because they have to be, not because they want to make a name for themselves. They're good people, of that I have no doubt, it's a shame they have to lose for us to win, but it can't be helped. We all chose this route, so we must follow it.

"Semi-final match, Hoshigumi versus Shadow Blades. Start!" I don't know that 'referee', not that I suppose it matters, since we've started…

Wow, that was impressive, Mei is certainly supple, Ren didn't expect that and he got hit a fair few times for it. Her sais are actually really effective, I didn't think they would be, not against Ren. Teran doesn't seem to be doing too badly against Hao either, though certainly, sword against sword is easier, even if they are completely different in style and appearance. That leaves me with Kaide, it will be a strange match, I've never fought against someone using fans before. If her skill meets the rest of her team, she'll certainly know how to use them well, I'd better be careful.

Okay, I've decided I really don't like fans. Those things are absolutely lethal, not that I think she's trying to kill me, but certainly it wouldn't be hard for her to do. She's almost taken my head off about three times so far and she doesn't seem to be tiring of it yet. I have to admit, in terms of physical skill, she's far better than I am, however, thankfully, I'm a better Shaman, so I should be okay. Hao and Ren seem outmatched in pure fighting ability too, seems the Shadow Blades knew exactly who should fight whom for the best results. I'm impressed by just how good they are and I'm quite sure Hao is as well, but still, their skill doesn't make up for lacking shaman talents and against the Asakura's, that's a mistake.

"Yami Sufinkusu! Yami no Sunahama!" Wow, what on earth did Mei just do to Ren? He could well have been taken out of the match.

"Kage Ryu! Kage no Hakai!" Teran's at it too now…Hao's lucky he has Spirit of Fire or that would have been nasty, he is actually a little out of it now though, incredible…

"Your turn now. Kuroi Hou, Kuroi Hono-o Bakuhatsu!"

"Gah! Not nice!" Kaide nearly fried me! They may not be particularly good shamans, but their spirits are very powerful. If they could use their talents a little better, they really would be incredibly difficult opponents.

"Teran! Combine attacks! Burning Rain!" Mei really knows what she's doing, I'm not sure even Hao is going to survive that attack.

Ren is already out of the match, Mei's spirit proved too much for him, he had to use all his furyoku just to block it, so if they knock Hao out as well, it'll be just me, granted I'm a little better at avoiding attacks, otherwise Kaide would have got the better of me. Still, I don't much like the idea of going against the three of them by myself. I don't suppose I should count Hao out yet though, he is the better of the three of us.

"Yoh, pull back." Hao is okay, but that took a fair bit out of him.

"You okay?" He seems pretty tired…

"Yoh, I want you to use my furyoku to make Amidamaru enter his perfect form, like you used against me, we need to finish this fight quickly. I seriously underestimated them, I admit that."

"Hao…okay, I'll do my best. Amidamaru!"

Okay, that was absolutely exhausting…we won at least, not that Ren seems too aware of that fact. Ah well, never mind.

"Congratulations, that was quite the come back. We tried our best and lost, so I accept this graciously, we've learnt a lot from this, so thank you." Mei really is amazing…

"You put up a good fight, if you were a little better you would have won. Though next time, I won't underestimate you, so don't think you'll have it so easy." Hao just can't help himself…

"You guys are really great, you really had me worrying for a while there." I have to be honest, they deserve that much, we really were pretty close to losing.

"Arigato Yoh-kun." Kaide seems really happy I said that, I wonder why? Well, if it makes her happy I don't suppose the reason behind it matters.

"Tell me, is there something…off balance?" Huh? What does Mei mean?

"Yes, but it isn't your concern, I'd appreciate you saying nothing further on the matter." That was really blunt of Hao. I wonder what's wrong? I don't understand…

"Of course, my apologies for intruding. It has been our pleasure."

Why do they have to just leave it? Hao won't answer me if I ask, if they know what's wrong, couldn't they be a little more obvious? She deliberately gave as little information as possible, something that doesn't make the slightest bit of sense to me. Couldn't she have just asked normally? That isn't fair…why does everyone know but me? Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but still…

"Yoh, forget it. None of it matters right now. Let's go."

"Hao…" Not fair… "Fine. Will Ren be okay though?"

"Yes, he's just tired, like us. Now stop thinking and just come on."

"Yeah, okay."

Ahh well, I can only follow what he says, we've only got one more fight to go now, this is almost over and everything will be okay once it is. I just have to wait a little longer. Nan to ko nare.

--

Yay, it's finished! That was hard…

Thanks for the reviews as always! Hope you enjoyed the chapter; it really wasn't easy to write. I made this difficult on myself writing everything in FPP…Oh well, never mind.

Anyway, I'll update either Friday or Saturday again, next chapter should hopefully be a little easier to write at least. Time to shut up I think…

Please review! Thanks! Ja minna!


	13. Chapter 13

We arrived back a few minutes ago, Ren ended up being knocked over by an over-enthusiastic Karina, but he seems to have regained his senses because of it. Hanagumi have been mollycoddling Hao and myself, they're not used to seeing us like that. Certainly, bar the time he lost to us, he had never come even remotely close to losing, so it must be quite a sight for them. Really, it isn't that bad, we're all just a little tired, none of us are actually hurt. Other than them worrying though, generally the mood is pretty good, but then we are only one match away from winning the tournament, so it isn't really surprising that moral would be high.

"We should celebrate!" Why am I not surprised Samantha suggested that? I don't suppose it will do any harm for them to enjoy themselves though. A lightened mood would do everyone the world of good right now.

"Yeah! Let's have some fun!" Macchi is far too excitable…

"Might be a good idea…what do you think Hao-sama?" Even Kanna is interested?

"Do as you please." Hao doesn't sound so enthralled by the idea though.

Not that its really surprising, Ren isn't too keen on the idea either, but then, I think we'd all rather just relax for a while, not use even more energy. I'm certainly exhausted, and I'm the one with the most energy, so they must feel even worse than I do. Sometimes it's definitely a good thing to be stupidly energetic.

"Yoh-sama?" Why is Mari worried?

"Curling up and going to sleep sounds like a good idea to me." I don't know that was the answer she was looking for, but never mind.

"For once, I agree completely, sleep sounds like a very good idea." Wow, Ren really does sound shattered. Karina is taking good care of him though, not that I'm sure that's such a good idea.

"Do you want to see your friends Yoh?" Why would Hao ask that?

"Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to break the ice, but…"

"I'm not making you do anything you don't want to do, it just struck me that you might want the chance to speak to them before the final."

"Yeah, sure." He isn't being quite honest on that point, from his tone, my leaving isn't an option, for whatever reason, he wants me to go.

It's possible that he may think I need to do this for my own good, I really don't know. Certainly I can't think of any better or more likely reason for his actions. I don't really want this fight to be like the last, they were too hateful, that isn't good for them, but I don't really want to be sent away either. I chose Hao over them after all, so shouldn't I be there with them, not with our opponents? There isn't really much point in this internal debate though, I've already started leaving, I won't argue with Hao. Something is wrong, that much I'm sure of, but what that is, and whether our winning the tournament will solve it I don't know. I can only hope it will, I don't like things the way they are. Hao shouldn't have to worry all the time and he shouldn't feel he has to keep so much from me. I really want to help him in any way I can, but it's difficult when he's trying to protect me from the problem.

I'm not sure the others will even want me around them; Lyserg and Anna won't welcome my presence, that's for sure. This is too difficult; maybe I should just go somewhere else instead? Well, I suppose I could just pop my head in and wish them luck or something? No, that would probably be taken the wrong way…I'm giving myself a headache again.

"Yoh?" Horo Horo, he doesn't sound angry I'm here, but he definitely sounds surprised.

"Ya. Ready for the fight?"

"You came to check up on us? You're not supposed to worry about the opposing team you know?"

"Well, we're friends right? I don't want any bad feelings."

"Come on, to be honest, we all hoped that you'd come, even Lyserg seemed as though he wouldn't mind it."

"Are you serious? He seemed more intent on having my head than talking to me."

"Well, we've all been thinking about this a lot, we all owe you, so we kind of decided that we'll just have to let you follow your heart and hope for the best. We don't have to like Hao, but that doesn't mean we have to fall out with you. Anyway, come on."

I wasn't expecting this by any means, but I'm not complaining. I'm pretty surprised they haven't asked about Ren though, or come to think of it, why Hao didn't send Ren as well. Ren hasn't shown any interest in the group at all, which is strange, because he was getting along well with everyone. I wonder if something happened while I was gone? Maybe I'll ask Ren later, assuming I don't find out while I'm here anyway.

Seems they had the same idea as Samantha and Macchi, have as much fun tonight as possible. In that case, why was Horo Horo outside by himself? Sometimes we need to get away to think at times like these, maybe that's why? But then, considering I think too much, maybe mine isn't the best opinion to take.

"Yoh-kun…?" Lyserg has noticed me, is that good or bad?

"Ano…ya minna." I hate the few rare occasions that I actually feel self-conscious…

"I don't suppose you're pulling out?" His tone is pretty light, but I can hear the slight hope there nonetheless.

"Iie."

"I didn't think so, but I'd prefer not to fight you…"

"You fought us as an X-Law, this isn't any different, no, actually, this is better."

"Yeah, no one's trying to kill each other this time. Right?" Horo's paranoid…

"I can guarantee our end isn't going to try anything." Hao did promise me after all.

"You really trust him, don't you?" Why does he have to say it as though I'm crazy?

"Sometimes it seems you're too trusting Yoh-kun." Even Manta thinks I'm crazy…

"Niisan is…well, it's hard to explain. Things just aren't the same as they were. Too much has changed…anyway, yes, I do trust him." I really should learn not to babble…

Surprisingly they've all dropped the subject; maybe I seemed distressed trying to explain. It isn't that the subject upsets me, as I think they assume, but just that I don't know how to explain it. The subject is difficult to explain to anyone except Hao, since he knows most of it. Technically, we were the same person after all, so there is a bond between us that only we can really understand.

It's nice that they're including me in their activities, especially so willingly, it's hard to believe that I'm going to be facing three of the in the final shaman bout in less than a day. I don't think they really want to consider that though, they want to pretend that everything is still the same as it was before. They trust me, and my intentions, but no matter how supportive they are for me, they still don't trust Hao, or like the fact that I'm with him. Actually, I am surprised that there has been no mention of Ren still, I've been here almost two hours now and his name hasn't come up once, even with all the stories they've been bringing up. In some ways, I want to ask, because I really am curious, but at the same time, I have the feeling that it will ruin the mood and I don't have any right to do that. This is all so very strange…

Is it really that late already? It doesn't seem that enough hours have gone by for it to be midnight. I'd better get back to the others soon, well, saying that, do I really? I don't suppose I should be so negative, but I do seem to be getting pushed further and further out of 'the loop'. Despite Hao's initial idea that we be pretty much equal, though I always knew it wouldn't work out like that, I seem to have become bottom of the list. I know Hao doesn't mean to make me feel like that, he's just trying to make sure I don't get upset over whatever it is bothering him, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel utterly useless. Can't he understand, I want to help him, that I don't need protecting? If I'm not prepared to do anything about it then I don't really have the right to complain about it. If I'm so determined to stand by niisan than I have to accept everything as it is. I don't want us to fall out and I don't want to worry him, all I can do is go back, get some rest and then do some training before the match tomorrow. To be honest, I didn't really want to celebrate with them anyway, I wanted to relax after all the exertion, but I have to admit, joking around with the others was fun, I don't regret going to see them. I feel really down now though, like that was the last time it would happen. Who knows, considering how they all feel about niisan, maybe it was.

Okay, maybe I'm just paranoid, but everyone seems to either be snubbing me or avoiding me, have I done something wrong? Even Macchi didn't glomp me or scold me for being out too late, if I didn't know better, I'd say Hanagumi looks upset. Why would they be upset though? Mari especially seems upset about me, but there isn't any reason for it, I mean, anyone would think I'd died or something, not that I haven't done that already…

This really is strange and very unnerving; I've only been gone a few hours, why has everything changed so drastically? Does this have something to do with why Hao told me to leave? It shouldn't, should it? I'm so confused… I don't like this at all, why is everyone acting like this? I don't want to be here anymore, maybe I should stay with the others tonight instead, I'm sure that they'll let me.

"Yoh...I was beginning to wonder if you were coming back." Hao doesn't seem to be shunning me at least and the fact that he's being sarcastic is a good sign, I think…

"Gomen niisan. Sumimasen." I can't stand being out here any longer, I want to get inside out of the way, this atmosphere is horrible.

I think Hao is having a few words with them, but I don't see the point. Clearly something is wrong, him telling them to be nice isn't going to change that. I don't understand what this is all about, but I don't like it one bit. I hate to admit it, but I'm scared; I feel absolutely terrified by all this. Why is everyone being this way? What does everyone know that I don't? I don't want to be here any more, I want to go back with the others; I don't like this.

"Yoh, calm down okay? You're not doing yourself any favours getting so worked up." No, really? It's easier said than done though Hao. You trying putting up with all of this!

I can't help it; I can't help feeling like this any more than I can stop the tears that are now flowing freely down my face. I don't like this; I don't want it to be like this. Why is everyone doing this? Do they hate me now? What have I done wrong? Why won't anyone explain this to me? I'm shaking so much and I can't stop crying, I don't like this feeling either, I don't want this…

"Love please, try to calm down." I'm trying Hao! I just can't …

I can't even talk my throat hurts so much. I know I'm being hysterical now, but I can't stop my body from reacting this way. I think I must have overloaded it or something… Should I have listened to the others? Should I have stayed away from Hao? No, that would have been worse, I couldn't have carried on that way for much longer, the guilt was killing me.

"D-do th-they h-hate me?" I surprised I got the words out, even if they are stammered.

"No Yoh, of course not. Everyone here is very fond of you."

"Then why?"

Even when I'm in an emotional breakdown, he still won't answer me… I don't believe this. Damn it Hao, don't you dare do this to me!

"Everything will be explained soon Yoh, but hopefully by then it won't matter."

"You're hoping becoming Shaman King will make everything right?"

"Yes. I very much hope that. I'm sorry this is hurting you so much Yoh, I don't mean to cause you pain."

"But you do, by trying to protect me, you just hurt me more!"

Okay, the emotional breakdown was a very bad idea; I would never normally say something like that to him. I hope he doesn't get upset or angry…great, now I'm crying even more, if that's at all possible. I don't believe this…Hao looks pretty guilt-ridden, which really isn't what I wanted and I'm still crying hysterically. I really don't like tonight very much at all.

"I'm sorry…" Hao sounds really upset, even though he only whispered the words, but I'm nowhere near calm enough to do anything about it.

"Niisan, please, just, leave me alone for a while, I need to calm down before I make myself ill, and that wouldn't be any good for tomorrow's match."

A reluctant nod, but he's gone at least. The only thing I can do right now is cry myself to sleep, I can't talk to him and if I try I'll just make things worse. I really didn't mean to make him feel guilty, I didn't want that thought to leave my mouth and I know if he stayed I would have said much worse. I really do love him, and I understand his want to protect me, but right now, neither of those facts is doing me any good. I have to be alone until I fall to sleep, otherwise I may say something I don't mean and I really don't want to hurt him. I pray sleep takes me quickly; the sooner this is over the better.

* * *

Uh, what did I have to say...oh yeah, nan to ka nare/nantaku naru is something along the lines of come what may/everything will work out. It's Yoh's signature quote in the series.

Thanks for the reviews as always, though I need lots more...

I'll update in a week again (hopefully...)

Hope you enjoyed, and please review! Ja ne minna!


	14. Chapter 14

Morning already, Hao didn't come back last night, so I have no idea whether he got any sleep or not. I got some sleep, but it was restless, so I still feel tired. It isn't really a fact I can entertain however, I need to get ready and get some training in before the match starts, I have about four hours to make sure I'm ready. Really, I wouldn't have stayed put even if I didn't have the match, I really can't deal with them, especially if there are going to be false apologies.

I know I'll have to go through it all later, but I really don't want to be an emotional wreck before the match, or worse, during the match. Even if things are difficult right now, I still have to put my all into taking part. Realistically, they shouldn't cause us any trouble, but they will have trained very hard for this, and we have underestimated two of our opponents so far, so it may be wise to be safe, rather than sorry. After everything we've been through, it would be a real shame to walk away second. I wonder who's in charge of them? Which dream is going to be fulfilled if they win? The three of them have their own reasons, I hope it will be Horo Horo to be honest, I think his wish is the best, even if he is working towards it himself, Lyserg's only interest was revenge and I don't think I'd like Chocolove's jokes to be inflicted on everyone. That isn't really very nice of me to say, but not even I find him funny, so he must be pretty awful. Tamao and Pirika do actually find his jokes funny, once they get an explanation to the jokes anyway, so they don't really count.

Time to go outside…am I ready for this? Well, it isn't as though I have to talk to anyone if I don't want to, I can just slink out and ignore everyone who happens to notice me. I don't really want to have to do that, it isn't very nice of me, but I don't feel up to dealing with anyone right now. I'm still shaky, though whether that's just because I exhausted myself last night I don't really know.

Gah! Trust Hao to choose to walk in when I'm about to walk out. I really didn't need to get knocked over on top of everything else. That hurt…

"I, uh, sorry." Hao sounds really depressed, he won't even look at me.

"Never mind, it's okay, no harm done." I don't feel cheerful, but I want to at least try to sound a little more upbeat for his sake. I feel really awful to have upset him so much.

"Yoh, I…look, about last night…"

"Save it. I don't want to think about that right now, it won't do me any good."

"Sure… Where were you going?"

"Just out to train. A little practice won't hurt, things may well heat up."

"How about I join you? I haven't practiced with you for a while. It doesn't matter if-"

"Sure, the challenge would probably be good for me." That made him smile; he doesn't seem so worried about talking to me now. I'm glad about that. I know it doesn't change anything; all the problems are still there, but he isn't worrying quite so much, which is something. It will be nice to be able to quit worrying for a while and just train, I need to stop thinking for a while and since Hao seems to be the only one who is actually somewhat okay with me, it will be a good distraction for both of us.

I'm quite surprised, I seem to be doing fairly well against Hao, he actually seems to be trying for a change. He looks relatively surprised himself; I guess he didn't expect me to have improved so much. It's easy to forget that so much has changed considering how quickly and easily it occurred.

"You know, I'm glad you're on my side, you're getting very good." Well, I'm pretty sure Hao meant that, but considering he's smirking, it isn't easy to tell.

"Still not good enough it seems. But that doesn't mean I'm going to give up."

It would be quite the achievement to beat him fair and square. It might help my position too, if I could beat Hao, they couldn't keep looking down on me. I don't suppose it should matter to me really, but for whatever reason, I find it annoying. It's amazing that I'm so different just because of a few memories. I suppose I'll just have to accept that as it is though, it isn't really that bad, I haven't changed into a horrible person or anything. I suppose that I should really be paying better attention to what I'm doing; Hao isn't one to be underestimated.

"You two shouldn't be tiring yourselves out you know." Kanna is probably right but…

"I suppose not, let's stop now Yoh." Ahh, why did Hao have to agree? I wanted to try to win this time. I feel a little better after that at least; I'm not as depressed as I was.

"Yoh-sama…Mari is…ano…"

"Don't worry Mari. I'm sure whatever this is about; you had a good reason for being upset. It doesn't matter right now."

"Yoh…I'm sorry for this, I know this is very hard for you. Thank you for being so good about everything." Hao is definitely keeping something really important from me to make a comment like that.

"Forget this nonsense, let's get going already." Ren is as stubborn and obnoxious as ever. That reminds me…

"Ne, Ren? Why didn't you come with me last night? They're your friends too."

"No, those idiots are not my 'friends'." That was pretty harsh of him.

They must have had a pretty bad fallout. I wonder why though? Was Ren really only talking to them for my sake? That can't be right can it? They were getting along; Ren always accepted them, even if some of their character traits did annoy him.

"Ren…? No, forget it, whatever, let's just go." I don't need this on top of everything else, if he doesn't want anything to do with them, that's his choice. They didn't really seem bothered by the fact either.

Why does he seem so shocked? What did I say? "Are you okay Yoh?"

What a stupid question… "No, of course I'm not okay, but I don't see what that has to do with me telling you not to bother answering me."

"I suppose I'm not used to you snapping, well, not being pathetically sappy anyway…"

"Yeah, right, fine, whatever." I can't be bothered with this any more, I'm just going to go; they can follow or not, I couldn't care less right now. Not a typical me thing to be harsh, not that I haven't had my moments, but I'm really not in the best of moods right now. I don't usually get stressed, but all this is just too much.

Anyway, enough of this, enough thinking about all these problems, it isn't doing me any good and I don't need to be wound up in the fight either. The guys are finally okay with me, and I don't want to ruin that, I really do like spending time with them, I can appreciate that again, now that everything has been resolved with Hao. Well, I say everything has been resolved, but really, I just mean that I'm not killing myself through guilt any more, because he's alive and doesn't hate me. Certainly, things are far from being okay right now, but who knows, maybe him becoming Shaman King will remove the problems? To be honest, I doubt it, things don't work that easily, everything requires effort and attention, problems don't just vanish.

"Yoh." Hao sounds annoyed…opps…

"Ano…hai?"

I think I surprised him going from being blunt to acting more like a scared rabbit. I don't want him mad at me though, that wouldn't be a good idea. I was only snapping slightly at Ren though, why should he get angry with me for that? It isn't as though he never does it. It isn't fair that I have to behave a certain way all the time, why can't I get annoyed or upset without people harassing me for it?

"Yoh…is everything, okay?" Pouting moment required, he's talking to me as if I'm a baby, or a crazy person…

"Yes Hao, everything is as okay as it's likely to be. Can we just get on with the match?" A simple nod, but that was all I wanted. I need a distraction right now; I really hope all these problems end soon.

-

Here at the designated battleground at last, no more harassment for a while. Yay.

"You are coming after all, here we were thinking you'd skipped out on us." Horo really shouldn't say things like that, Chocolove is meant to be the one who makes bad jokes.

"As if, why would I be afraid to fight a popsicle?" Might as well have some interesting banter; it might cheer me up a little.

"Better a popsicle than a wannabe."

"Wannabe? I guess I'll have to prove you wrong on that snow cone. Not that it'll be difficult."

"Heh, we'll see. Bishounen aren't going to lose to Hoshigumi!"

Bishounen? That's their team name? Oh, that's too funny, I'm not going to be able to fight for laughing. Maybe that's the idea; it's a secret strategy to disable their opponents. Horo's sulking now, but really, I can't help laughing, it's hilarious.

"W-who came u-up with t-that name?" Wow, I managed to say an entire sentence, I thought I was laughing too much, it's definitely getting harder to breath.

"What's wrong with it? It's true." I'm not sure I've seen Horo pout before, but it's making me laugh even more than I already was.

"S-sure…well, Ryu will agree for Lyserg, but…"

Now Lyserg is blushing and Horo and Chocolove are sulking, this is too funny. Maybe my friends were worth more attention then I've given them of late, not that I'm disappointed that I don't have to deal with Anna on a day-to-day basis…

"Enough now." When did Hao become such a drag?

"He wouldn't need us to cheer him up if you were really taking care of him." Lyserg actually sounds pretty angry and defensive, but not just because it's Hao he's talking to, strange.

"Kisama… Mind your own business!" Trust Ren to snap, even though they aren't technically wrong…no, mustn't think like that.

"Yami no! Enough yelling and bickering." Why must everyone always fight? I don't want them to argue over me.

"Gomen nasai Yoh-kun. We just worry, seeing you upset." I know Lyserg, I know.

"Time for the match to begin." Great timing Silva, or not. Ahh well, nothing I can do about it, I just need to get on with the match, that is why we're here after all.

They're spreading out, so they don't intend to rely on each other too much, though their skills are very different, and not really interchangeable, so it's probably in their best interest in that sense. It does mean that someone is left trying to battle Hao though. I expect Lyserg will quickly choose that option, and for whatever reason, I get the feeling that Chocolove wants to fight Ren, who knows why though. That would leave me to fight Horo, surprising, considering he's already lost to me once, though I think Chocolove is the only one who hasn't and that's only because I haven't fought him. That must sound pretty arrogant…well, I'm only thinking, so it doesn't matter if it does, I know I didn't mean it that way and that's what counts.

"Nipopo Punch!" Horo's serious then, good.

"That won't cut it. Shinku Battagiri!" He actually managed to dodge it. "Not bad."

"I guess we know the old moves too well, ne? Still, try this. Epikaru Kyuupashi Horosuke!"

The huge avalanche thing again. That didn't work on me when I didn't know it was coming, why would it now? Though I admit there is much more power behind it this time. Is that…Lyserg is combining with Horo's attack? How does that work? I don't understand how a wire and pendulum could benefit an avalanche. Oh, okay, it conducts energy, if that hits, it's going to hurt, a lot. Maybe they're not so clueless after all. Even for me, this will be very difficult to dodge, though saying that, I don't have to dodge it, just block it, and that I can do. After all, I blocked Spirit of Fire's attack and the power level of that was higher than this one. Of course, the fire went away, snow on the other hand, will bury me.

"Spirit of Fire." Hao melted it all and got me out of the way before I even got wet.

I'm quite impressed, and I'm pretty relieved too, I must admit I was a little worried; Lyserg charging the snow made it a fairly dangerous move. Not to say I would have lost, certainly it's quite possible that I would have been just fine. I'm just not complaining that I didn't have to find out the hard way.

"Be more careful Yoh." What? Hao didn't need to say that, it was uncalled for.

"I'm fine, watch what you're doing instead of watching me." I know I shouldn't snap at him, but that really was an unnecessary comment, as if that was through recklessness.

Horo and Lyserg both seem annoyed with the comment too, though they also seem pleased, though also surprised, that I stuck up for myself. I guess they don't really understand how things are, though considering how much I'm kept in the dark, I don't expect I do either. Still, this isn't the time for me to be thinking about that, I'm meant to be concentrating on the fight. Not that I think Horo would take advantage of me sulking for a few moments, even if we are opponents. Anyway, enough complaints, it's time to get on.

"Okay, let's get this over with." Even though I'm suddenly not so sure that I want to.

"You've got it Yoh. I'll show you a new trick. Kori sukoru!"

Gah! Not nice! I do not like this new attack at all. "Tenjoteki na yoke!"

Well, that took the bite off it, I'm glad we decided to learn a better shielding technique. Oh, Ren has beaten Chocolove already, he does seem pretty out of breath though, so I guess he must have put a lot of effort into it, probably because I annoyed him… I hope he didn't hurt Chocolove too much, I'd feel awful if he got really injured because of me. Ren can be really inconsiderate towards others, especially when he's annoyed about something. He's such a pain. Seems Hao's had enough of playing with Lyserg too, I suppose that I'd better finish up with Horo, otherwise they'll nag me no end.

"Gomen Horo. Todomeda. Mikazukigata kiru!"

Ahh, poor Horo is completely gob smacked that I eat him so quickly and so easily. Well, it isn't my fault if he couldn't tell how much I'd improved. I mean, it isn't as though I've been trying to hide the fact. Come to think of it, everyone seems quite shocked we won so easily, how odd. Were they not around for the ersatz tournament or something? I don't suppose I should think things like that; I'm the nice one, right? I suppose it's time to go back to the see the Great Spirit and have Hao become Shaman King. If I make it that far of course, I don't know why I feel so tired, I shouldn't. Maybe I'm coming down with something?

* * *

Well, I was going to give everything away this chapter, but I've decided to leave everything to the next chapter, which, if you haven't already guessed, is the last one.

Hope the chapter was okay, I tried a little harder with the fight, but it's still pretty lame, it's just too hard to do in first-person.

Carly-chan, behave, you'll find out soon enough why everyone was behaving like that.

Thanks very much Kiharu-sama, I'm flattered you think so.

Anyway, please review! Final update will be next Friday or Saturday.


	15. Chapter 15

Hao has just become Shaman King, but despite the fact he seems calm outwardly, I can tell he's sad about something. I guess Hao's hope of a resolution to the problems has failed to come to pass. I feel quite afraid, something is wrong, something I don't want to hear. I made such a big deal about wanting answers, but now, I don't want them anymore, I don't want to be here at all. No one seems to dare break the uneasy silence; they are waiting for Hao to act. It won't be long though, Hao never leaves these things for too long, though I wish he would, just for once. I don't want to hear what he has to say, I want to go home and forget all of this. I'm too tired though; I'd never get even half that far, what is wrong with me?

"Ototo, koko ni oide." Hao silently ushered everyone else away at the same time as calling me to him.

I don't like this, please Hao, I don't want to know anymore. "Nan desu ka niisan?"

Wow, I sound so nervous, but then, I am, so that shouldn't really surprise me. Hao is hesitant, that must be a first, he's never normally like this, he's normally so sure and confident.

"Yoh, it's time for you to return to me."

What did he…? I don't… This can't, he can't be serious. The simple statement is enough to completely destroy everything that has been said, all the time we've spent together, everything becomes a lie with a few simple words. Maybe they were right not to trust Hao? No, there is something else, something that won't make sense until Hao gives me more answers. I don't believe he's betrayed me, or was just using me, but I can't ignore the possibility either. Not matter what I think, I am very much afraid, it hurt so much before, and I don't want to feel that again.

"W-what do you mean Hao?"

He doesn't know how to answer me and he's trying too hard to keep a mask of indifference. Why is he trying to pretend that he doesn't care when it's so clear that he does? What is this about? Is this what you've been keeping from me all this time?

"Yoh, we can't both exist together, that is why we have both been, unwell. The only way to save us is for you to return to me." Hao's soft tone doesn't betray his emotions, but I can see them nonetheless.

"This, is why…" Everyone's reaction towards me, Hao's sending me away by myself in the first place, everything suddenly makes a horrible sort of sense. I guess I was wrong when I was thinking about Mari's reaction, I really was dead, I just didn't realise it. I would never have figured this out, no matter how much I thought about it, but now I know, everything falls into place perfectly.

"Yes. I'm sorry Yoh."

"I see. There is nothing I can do then."

Hao is no longer bothering masking his concern, he really doesn't like this any more than I do, but there's more to it then that. "Do you believe me Yoh? Do you still trust me?"

I see, so he's afraid I'll hate him and fight him on this. Even if I didn't believe him, I'm not in any position to do anything about it I'm far too exhausted. "Yes, I know it's true. Now that I understand, it's easy to tell. I suppose I have no choice but to agree, for both our sakes."

Relief, but also disappointment, I suppose part of him didn't want me to accept it regardless. I don't want to by any means, but I know there is nothing I can do about it. The more time passes the weaker I feel, I don't expect that I'll be conscious for too much longer. My spirit will fade to nothing if I don't join with Hao soon and there is nothing we can do about it. Still, I don't want things to end like this.

"Yoh, I really am sorry, I had hoped that the added power of the Great Spirit would be enough, but…"

Hao is close to tears, not that it would be obvious to most, but I know him well enough to tell. This has been tearing at him for so long, I guess I can't really blame him for saying nothing; it must have been so hard. I'm not nearly so strong as he is, so I don't expect I would have coped with it.

"Hao, what changed? Why did this happen?" I know this is hard for him, but I need to know, I can't just give up if I don't know why I have to.

"Do you remember that strange tunnel? That is what put everything in motion. And yes, they did know it would, they willingly put you to your death. Or I suppose, they hope it will be both of us."

"Chichioya… I see. Arigato niisan, gomen nasai."

One final embrace and tender kiss is all we get before this is all over. Darkness is falling upon me even now; no matter what happens, soon I won't exist.

-

"I am sorry Yoh. I love you. Goodbye."

I mean it, I really do. Though, as much as I'm upset by your loss physically, I must admit it's a relief to have your soul back where it belongs, its nice to be whole again. Is that wrong of me Yoh? No, I don't think it is, I didn't want this. I would rather have you here laughing and joking than have your half of my soul back. As much as you won't approve ototo, I'm going to give the Tao what he wants; we are going to have a massacre. I only lost you because of them, so I will make them pay for it. I have no more use for the Asakura bloodline, I've achieved what I wanted, I'm Shaman King now. I was surprised when he suggested continuing on my original plan, but then, he wasn't all that different from me before he met you, was he? You have a way of changing people, making them see sense, but now, I find my anger returning once again. People cause so many problems for those who are empathic, their anger, hatred, jealousy and fear is all I can feel.

I suppose that I should go to the others, I've kept them waiting long enough. I know the girls are very upset about all this; they became quite attached to Yoh. Strange how so much has changed, just because of one person, but then, I suppose I was much the same myself before. I used to go out of my way to help people too, but Yoh didn't have my curse, to know that no matter how much you tried, they still remained the same, never satiated.

I know they will continue to follow me without question, as they have always done. They have all experienced the harsh reality of the current world and want a new one to live in. Humans and useless shamans will be removed, only those who will follow my will, the will of the Shaman King will be allowed to exist. We will have a world where we can exist as we wish to, rather than one oppressed by fools. As Shaman King, I can speak for all, and no matter how obstinate or foolish, change for the better is a wish all hold. The only way to improve this world is by ridding it of those who cause the problems, and all this foolish technology. Humans have become very weak by forgetting their roots; all have the potential to become useful shamans, but most are too foolish to ever achieve such a thing, even if they do become shamans.

"Hao-sama…" Mari is making no attempts to hide her concern or sadness.

"Yoh is always very good with everything, he had no qualms with what was required."

I could be a little more sympathetic, but for now, the only thing I have any interest in, is dealing with the Asakura's. I expect any of my group would appreciate the chance to destroy the Asakura's; Yoh's presence touched everyone here, even though most were not as forthcoming with that fact as Hanagumi. I think Hanagumi were the only one's who supported the idea of me even seeing Yoh, let alone inviting him to come back with me. They have always been very good for me though, and have always followed my will to help Yoh improve, even though that was originally just to regain all of my power.

"What now Hao-sama?" Kanna remains the most stoic of the three, though despite her efforts to show no sign of grief, I can feel it there. She's as hurt and angry by this as Mari and Macchi are.

"We pay my dear family a visit." Though my voice held no malice or sarcasm, everyone knows what I mean, Ren even going so far as smirking.

I have to wonder if Ren even cares about what happened to Yoh, or if he's just out to destroy Yoh's friends and anyone else he doesn't 'like'. Certainly, he tried to get me to continue with this even before he knew what was going to happen. It wouldn't be hard to find out either way, but I don't know that I want to. This can wait; my wonderful, loving family have just noticed our arrival. I am going to enjoy this.

"Hao!" So the old man can still snarl my name, doesn't Yohmei get tired of it?

"That would be Shaman King to you fools." It isn't really my style to goad, but I want to make them suffer as much as I can before Spirit of Fire consumes their worthless souls.

"Did Yoh choose to rejoin you, or did you make him?" That was forward of 'chichioya'.

"I explained to him what you had done and he agreed that there was no other alternative. Where you idiots believe me or not, I do love him."

"You love yourself. You must be thrilled to have fooled him into giving you your power back." I am going to thoroughly enjoy killing that bitch.

"I love myself? Then you see Yoh as being me? Does that mean you love me then, Anna dearest?" Good, she didn't like that at all, but her comment could easily be taken to mean that. Amusing really, considering one of the first things I said to her earned me a slap for insinuating the same thing.

"What do you want Hao?" Kino is as blunt as ever.

"Your souls for Spirit of Fire." I can be direct too, causes a lot of fear in you idiots too, doesn't it? You were never a match for me before, now that I'm Shaman King, there is nothing anyone can do. They shouldn't have interfered with us; it's their fault.

"Its your own doing you know. Hao would have done as Yoh wanted, but since you killed him, you've caused everything that's gong to occur." Ren should keep his mouth shut.

"Enough. It's time this got finished." I'm tired of talking to them; I want to make them pay for their crimes.

They will try to fight, that's good; it will make this far more satisfying. Those fools think such weak spirits will do any harm? How pathetic. Well, this won't take very long then, my main intention is returning the favour to Mikihisa on Yoh's behalf, Harusame will no doubt cut through his flesh quite effortlessly. How truly gratifying an experience that will be. Miki intends to fight me too, that's good; he's the one who took Yoh down into that place, knowing what it would do, I will make him pay for it. He isn't nearly a match for me, this won't take long and Spirit of Fire will certainly appreciate some new souls to devour.

Yes, I was right, that cut quite nicely. He seems quite horrified to see it's Yoh's sword that will end his existence. He deserves no better, how could he willingly start in motion the end of his son's existence? They have done so much harm to him and yet they claim to love him? I know I hurt him too, but I didn't claim to love him then, I was too angry that he didn't remember me. I didn't know what they'd done then, but then, I suppose part of what I was doing was because I cared and the other half was because I was angry. I suppose that I've always cared about him, that's why I went to see him that day, but I never really understood until I thought that I'd lost him. Maybe that saying is true after all, you really don't appreciate what you have until it's gone, this would make it the third time I've lost Yoh, only this time there won't be another chance.

All I can do now is take things as they come. I can't keep to Yoh's way of doing things anymore, I do agree with Ren to the point that the people of this planet are worthless creatures, sheep that must be led. To change the world for the better through harsh means, would you understand that ototo? Probably not, demo, daijobu. You'll still love me, no matter what I do; I don't think you know what hate is. You aren't around to keep things together, so you'll have to give me some leeway. My intentions are good, even though my actions may not be classed as so. Well, except for killing them, that was plain revenge, they didn't deserve to live any longer after all their crimes. They had no noble intent to hide behind; they have always acted out of blind hatred towards me, and hurt you too many times in the process. Please understand Yoh, some things I need to do, even if you don't agree with them. Have a little patience with me, nan to ko nare; that I can promise you.

* * *

Um...please don't kill me? I know that was mean, and I really had no intent of doing anything like that, but when the idea struck me, I couldn't ignore it. Sorry! I hope you can bring yourselves to forgive me, but like the anime says, Yoh isn't dead, he's back where he belong... Okay, um...I know, blame the Asakura's, it's their fault for making Yoh go into the tunnel.

Anyway, hope the final chapter was okay, despite what happened. LR is now officially over, so thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read and review. No plans for a new fic as yet, but if I geta lot ofrequests for another one I'll see what I can come up with.

Thanks again, love you all. Bye now.


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